Ask Me No Questions and I'll Tell You No Lies
by Fact Vs Fiction
Summary: What is a mental illness but a magnification of an aspect of the normal human personality anyway? ShunsuiXNanao COMPLETE. Rated M. SEE WARNINGS


**Title: Ask Me No Questions and I'll Tell You No Lies**

**Author: FactVsFiction**

**Rating: M**

**Pairing: Shunsui/Nanao**

**Warnings: AU. This fic deals with mental illness in many forms. It also deals with self harm, suicide, and rape. If any of these matters upset you I'd recommend you do not read this fanfiction.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters you recognise in this piece. This story is very very loosely based on the movie girl, interrupted, and I don't own anything you recognise from that either. I am not a medical professional and I did not do any serious research to write this fiction therefore my medicine, neuroscience and pharmacology may not be accurate. Everything is based upon the basic modules I have taken in the topics and I am nowhere near finished my degree. I therefore disclaim any truth to any diagnosis in this fic.**

**A/N: Now that all the heavy stuff is done with I'll just say enjoy. This fic is a lot lighter than it seems from the warnings. I know at the moment it's a very long, continuous read. Eventually I'll probably split it into chapters but for now I needed to get it up.**

"Who's that?" Asked Shunsui.

Unohana Retsu followed his line of vision, eyes landing on the same head of dark hair. Her eyes went a little sad.

"That's Ise Nanao. Came in three months ago, why do you ask?"

"Just curious... She looks entirely too sane for this place. What's her story?"

Unohana tried to look disapproving but couldn't. Shunsui was an old friend of hers. He'd joined the staff a few weeks previously from a general hospital background. He was having a hard time with the reality of Seireitei. Most of their patients were never to be rehabilitated.

"A lot of them can look sane Shunsui." She reminded gently.

"I've been watching her all week. They don't look that sane."

"That's because she is sane."

"She hasn't been tagged?

"No. We were all amazed when we got her. Thought there was some mistake."

"What happened her?"

"Attempted suicide. Twice. Should be simple counselling."

"So why's she here?"

"She hasn't spoken, to anyone."

"Mute?"

"No. She'll talk to herself at night, when she feels nobody is listening. There are complicating factors. Knife marks on her back, history of OCD."

"Retsu I have OCD." Said Shunsui amused. "Hardly a huge issue. I'm guessing the wounds on her back weren't self inflicted?"

"No, positioning is off. Cops followed up. Trail ran dry and Nanao won't talk. There's also another issue."

"What's that?"

"Her IQ. It's 174 Shunsui. She's twenty two years of age but she's in the middle of her doctorate."

"In what?"

"Neuropharmacology."

Shunsui grinned.

"Let me guess. Neuro-pyscho-pharmacology?"

"It's not funny Shunsui it's causing huge problems. She knows too much for anyone to get much of a read on her. She was Jyuushiro's on arrival. He handed her off to Aizen who handed her to me."

"That's not like Aizen."

"She intrigued him. You know he doesn't like being that close."

"True. Can I have a crack?"

"Why?"

"Well. Can't say I've tried to kill myself but I've got the IQ and the OCD down pat. She's surrounded by people she should be able to connect with."

"The inmates?"

"The staff." Shunsui corrected. "Maybe she just needs someone to drop the patient thing." He shrugged.

"Try if you like Shunsui. I'll make sure you get her journal tomorrow."

"Her journal?"

"We take it every morning. She's really thinks herself quite amusing."

"Does she really..." Shunsui murmured.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

Shunsui glanced over his shoulder before returning his attention to the book cases, smiling slightly. He had her attention. From her file the trick would be making her look at him when he faced her. She point blank refused to communicate.

She was interesting already however on a purely personal level. Her OCD was obvious. It showed in her appearance. Neat and orderly was the name of the game. He always enjoyed working with OCD patients, especially opposites. Shunsui's OCD manifested in his movements. His number was thirty seven. High, but it could be worse, and he kept it reasonably controlled.

He turned to face her and waited. She studiously ignored him for quite a while, but he knew her kind. A woman that smart all it took was a little patience. Curiosity always won out.

She glanced up and he smiled.

Nanao just returned her attention to her book.

"Hi." Said Shunsui.

She completely ignored him.

"Friendly." He commented sarcastically. She still ignored him. "Bet you'd love something better than the wind and the damn willows to read."

She kept her head down, eyes in her book, but they'd stopped moving.

"Then again, why would you? You're just a crazy woman."

The corner of her lip twitched with a suppressed smile.

"That's what I thought." He said amused. "Alright Nanao I get it. You'd like to be left alone to be an unsociable crazy lady. Just thought you should know your sessions are cancelled this week, though you're to turn your journal over every morning as normal."

He turned back to the bookshelves and pursued them absently. He almost rolled his eyes at the titles. Poor inmates must be bored stupid. Treated like children instead of mentally unstable adults. How could they possibly be expected to prosper? They aren't. He answered his own question. He'd been in Seireitei home for the mentally unstable just weeks and already knew the sad truth. These people were never meant to get better. Like hell he was letting the woman sitting on the couch go down like that. She had a brain that could contribute to his field and he wasn't going to let her waste that.

He smiled slightly. Her eyes had been on his back since he'd turned around. He was slightly surprised that he'd caught her attention so easily but wouldn't complain either. He'd work out how over the week.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

Shunsui flipped the book over in his hands again thoughtfully. The cover was smooth leather, well worn and removable. The pages showed obvious signs of her writings. She had a very heavy hand. The indenting was harsh. He hadn't actually read anything yet. He was just analysing external factors. Her hand writing was neat and tidy. On the small side, normal for an introvert and a person of her intelligence. She wrote almost exclusively in print, probably from writing lab reports. The journal was illustrated, but with diagrams, not pictures. Graphs... This was written in lab report format. He was itching to turn to the most recent pages, to see what was going on in her head now, but knew starting from the beginning was best.

Once he started he couldn't put it down, and when he had to his mind wandered to it. He was a psychiatrist. He'd read plenty of patient's journals. Some wrote for themselves, some wrote because they were instructed. Some were interesting, some were dull, some he enjoyed, some he hated, but all were telling. Naturally he'd rather read something he enjoyed, it was part of the human condition, but he'd admit never had he enjoyed a patient's journal this much.

She was laugh out loud funny.

Most of what she wrote was on the other inmates. Case studies, detailed ones Shunsui would have been damn happy with himself. Suggestions of treatments, drugs. She wrote in a deadpan manner both Jyuushiro and Unohana had admitted to finding annoying. Shunsui just couldn't help but laugh. She was taking the piss out of the staff and their abilities and doing it successfully. Mocking them for things they hadn't tried that seemed so logical to her. Drugs she knew about that they'd never even heard of... She was brilliant. Her humour was biting and abrasive. It renewed his drive to make her talk. He wanted to pick this woman's brain.

Of course it wasn't all case studies. There was a lot of pharmacological work in it that he only had the knowledge to scratch the surface of. He'd put money on it being PhD work. There was a personal element. Snipes at the nurses, little philosophical ideas that popped into her mind... One per page. A reward for reading. She wanted them to read this, Shunsui didn't doubt it for a second. Why? It was simple... This was her job and she felt the need to help.

By far his favourite part of the journal was the rarest characteristic. There were two staff profiles in there so far. All tongue in cheek, all ridiculously accurate.

First up was Hisagi, one of the nurses. She'd identified him as depressed, correct. She'd called sexual frustration over his tattoo, also true, and had even gone so far as to attribute both disorders to the fact that he wouldn't admit he was gay and totally in love with Abari Renji, one of the very straight night nurses. Bang on mark. Most of the rest wasn't serious, just musings on his idiosyncrasies, they made him laugh. Biting, often scathing, always bang on and hilarious. From a professional point of view that said she saw herself as superior.

The second profile was even funnier. She hadn't taken the time to be serious when it came to Hinamori Momo, Aizen's assistant. She took the piss of the woman from the very beginning and had absolutely no respect for her. Shunsui couldn't truthfully say he had much in the line of respect for her either. She followed her boss around like a love struck puppy. Nanao jokingly classified her as bipolar for her mood swings. Her personal input for the page?

_What is a mental illness but a magnification of an aspect of the normal human personality anyway?_

He'd never heard another person speak of it like that... He saw the connection. Treatment for his OCD as a kid had put him on the other side of the table. Now Nanao was there and she could see it too...

OoOoOoOoOoOo

"What?" Asked Shunsui amused.

Nanao dropped her eyes immediately to the book in her lap.

She was watching him. It wasn't unnerving him, she didn't watch him like some of the inmates and he didn't consider her crazy. What interested him was what she found so interesting about him. Interesting enough to change her behaviour pattern despite knowing it would be noted. She'd probably noted his intelligence by now, and his unusually persistent presence, but it wasn't enough...

And then suddenly the light bulb went off.

It was compulsion. She wasn't accidently betraying her established behaviour pattern, which in Shunsui's mind was a load of bullshit anyway, she didn't have a choice. It was part of her OCD.

He closed the book he was skimming through. He saw Nanao glance at the cover and look away firmly. He smirked. She was normally nonchalant when caught looking. She wanted to read it. Badly. It had been almost a week now. She might...

He placed it on her side of the coffee table and she studiously ignored it. Shunsui just reclined in his chair allowing his mind to wander to his most recent discovery.

How slow could he possibly be not to catch it sooner? Nanao was far too smart and far too educated to change an assumed pattern willingly. Nanao fought her OCD. It was so obvious now.

Of course she fought it. She knew what it was, knew the reasoning, the characteristics... She studied mental illness for a living. She most likely saw herself as above it, he did too. The symptoms of an OCD sufferer who fought were obvious, especially in someone OCD about their appearance. Brief periods of extreme messiness. In Nanao's case it would be her appearance obviously. Patients rebelled against the binds of the compulsion by making their appearance messy as possible and trying to fight the urge to fix it. They never won. It was the same in all OCD but once the superiority to the condition was established, and it was in the majority of patients, the urge to fight it became just as present as the original urge. It was a very private thing, patients knew they'd lose and never displayed such behaviour publically for fear of ridicule. Nanao would fight in her own room, the only place there were no people and no cameras on her, hence why it wasn't documented. The other characteristic of a fighter appearance wise was a huge interest in messy.

He was messy. It explained why she watched him.

Long messy curls, tied messily. Constant stubble, haphazard clothing that often clashed and was rarely properly pressed. He was everything she wanted in her own appearance and she couldn't help but watch.

It was unfortunate she fought... Logical that she did of course... but unfortunate. She had her original OCD tendencies so well hidden. She displayed an impressive amount of control, control only learnt by hard practice Shunsui knew from experience. But there was no controlling the urge to fight it. She'd always be attracted to messy individuals, purely because they had what she couldn't. Study them in the desperate hope she could learn. That was illogical and one she couldn't fight no matter how hard she tried.

He looked up, returning to now, and smiled genuinely now. She'd taken the book, he'd hoped she would. She read fast, convinced he'd take it off her. He watched her and sure enough she glanced up every little while. She couldn't help it.

He smiled as he finally succeeded in catching her eye.

"You can keep it. When you're done bring it to session and you can swap it for something else."

She didn't speak but her eyes said it all in the way they softened, going slightly glassy. Thank you if he'd ever seen it. She rose and left in a hurry but it didn't matter.

Non verbal or not she'd communicated with another person for the first time in almost five months. She'd let him in.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

Shunsui flipped open the latest entry in her journal that next morning. Actual sessions with Nanao started today and he wanted to know if she'd revealed anything she felt on the matter in her words. What he got was not what he expected. His reaction was interesting. His heart skipped a beat, he didn't want to read this, but professionally he'd won. She was purposely communicating, if only by unnerving him. Nanao's third staff profile. Him.

_Kyoraku Shunsui, Thirty, OCD, previous history of acute anxiety disorder, depression due to isolation, and self harm._

Oh gods he didn't want to read this. His hands shook against his will. He knew immediately she was going to be serious and he didn't want to go there, at all. He forced his eyes back to the book. He needed to read this. He wouldn't get a read on her without knowing what she thought of him. If she had no respect working with her would be pointless.

_OCD._

_Patient shows symptoms of severe OCD manifesting in repetition of small hand movements most commonly the clenching of fists and tapping of fingers against the back of the opposite hands. Both movements are self controlling, the clenching of fists to prevent larger movements and the tapping a valued relaxation technique, both suggest that the patient's OCD was once far more severe and is very well controlled today. Number of repetitions is thirty seven per cycle which can be paused for as long as seven minutes every thirteen beats. As a result the patient's OCD is practically undetectable._

How the hell did she do that? Shunsui wondered, tapping absently. The staff bar Jyuushiro and Unohana who'd known him as a child had no idea and Nanao could call him on it? Not only call him but call his number and his controlling techniques?

He forced himself to return to the profile. His OCD was all well and good. It was the rest he was going to have the problem reading. His past.

_Acute Anxiety disorder and self harm._

_Indicators of the patient's severity of OCD suggest that the patient suffered often serious anxiety attacks as a direct result of being unable to complete a pattern. It should be noted that patterns at this age most likely included repetitive self harm such as head banging or hitting which would have been stopped by shrinks further increasing anxiety attacks. Self harming behaviour suggests self loathing further dealt with in depression below. As the patient controlled his patterns anxiety attacks have lessened to none though acute panic attacks are still likely while fighting._

Shunsui didn't give himself the time to think before jumping into the next paragraph. He knew he wouldn't read it if he stopped now.

_Depression._

_Patient has suffered from depression in the past, a result of the isolation caused by both obvious OCD and a genius level IQ. This depression would have been most obvious in the teen years and bouts will have continued until early twenties when hormonal development was complete. Patient is still liable to less severe bouts today._

Shunsui released a slow breath. He could have been reading his own file she was so accurate... She had it all... Everything...

There was one more line on the page, and the trained psychiatrist in Shunsui realised that it had to be her input. Her input was genuine, something she always included no matter how out of place.

_I know things too. Shrinks should learn that profiles aren't everything._

She knew things too... That was a plead no matter how she worded it. When he'd given her that book, a book everyone assumed she was too unstable to understand, he'd pulled her out of the box she was in and let her remember that she did know things, real, important things. Shrinks should learn that profiles weren't everything... That was a threat. It went with his profile, also a threat. It was a reminder that there was a person behind every profile he wrote, likes, dislikes, reasons why they were what they were. Shunsui was the first to argue that he was far from what his file made him out to be. Nanao was just reminding him that she was too.

The original anger, and even betrayal, he'd felt on seeing his own profile evaporated as understanding dawned. She didn't aim to hurt, it wasn't aggressive. It was just the best way of getting her point across and he couldn't and wouldn't argue with that.

This profile, was the second time in two days she'd communicated directly with him. She was opening up to him. Finally...

"And Retsu thought I was stupid to call off sessions." He muttered.

"I take it you're getting places with Nanao then?"

"Jyuu!" Shunsui greeted his oldest friend, closing the journal. "I am. Very very slowly. But progress is progress."

"Is she talking again?"

"No not yet. But she's communicating."

"Through her journal entries?"

"Yes and no. I didn't get to her until yesterday. I got a thank you for giving her something to read other than the wind and the fucking willows."

"Silent?"

"Yep."

"Is it a good idea?"

"To give her psychiatric texts?"

The white haired man nodded.

Shunsui snorted.

"You know this is exactly what her last diary entry was about. Treating people like profiles... She's got a high IQ, yeah, she'll probably pick things up, but Jyuu do you even know what she studies?"

"Science of some description."

"She's a neuro-psycho-pharmacologist Jyuu she already knows most of this shit, more than we do when it comes to schizophrenia. Enough that it already causes problems. Didn't you ever wonder why her readings stay so steady?"

"You think she's controlling what she exhibits?" Jyuushiro breathed.

"I have no doubt." Said Shunsui bluntly. "Woman with her knowledge she can make us think whatever she likes about her. Jyuu she wrote my profile."

"Like with Hisagi?"

"No. She wrote it properly."

"How accurately?"

"Accurately enough that I'd rather you didn't read it." Said Shunsui honestly.

"Fair enough. So what do you think she's purposely exhibiting?"

"I'm not sure yet. But all this silence and inability to communicate is pure rubbish."

"Why make things harder on herself?"

"Maybe she doesn't want to leave."

"But why?"

"If someone was slicing up my back on a regular basis I'd probably be reasonably happy to stay too. Look all I know is she's causing trouble for herself purposely. Damn it Jyuu with this little development I can't even tell you for certain she's depressed right now."

"She's tried twice."

"You know there's a chance..."

"That her actions were a result of a stressor." Jyuushiro finished. "All I can say is good luck Shunsui, and thanks, on her behalf for holding on to her even though I can tell whatever she's written in there has shaken you."

"She needs someone to get to the bottom of all this, whether she knows that now or not. Besides, she's hilarious." He held up the journal grinning.

"Only you could find that funny."

"You just don't like that she's smarter than most of your staff." Shunsui teased.

"Most."

"She's not smarter than me." Shunsui sang. "Are you Nanao-chan?" Shunsui directed at the door.

She dropped the hand she'd raised to knock uselessly but didn't acknowledge either of them.

"Catch." He threw her journal across the room. It hit the floor beside her and she jumped, looking up and glaring.

"Got your attention didn't it?" Said Shunsui smugly. "Go put that in your room we're going for a walk."

She picked up the book and turned on her heels.

"Ha!" Said Shunsui happily, leaning back in his chair.

"What?"

"That's the second time I've got her to look me in the eye and the third time I've gotten silent communication."

"She's still not talking."

"She will." Said Shunsui, amused, but totally certain of himself.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

"You've never seen the rest of the hospital huh?" Asked Shunsui as they walked. Nanao's head swung left and right, taking in her surroundings as they went. She wouldn't answer him but it didn't matter. He already knew she was on suicide watch and as a result had no access even to the hospital gardens since her arrival. She must be dying to go outside.

"Would you like to go outside?"

Her eyes fell back to her feet at the question, her arms crossing, protectively.

"How about I let you off easy for today and take that as a yes?" He said with a smile as he threw open the double doors.

She got an A for effort, he'd give her that. Four months without sunlight and she kept a straight face. Still, she couldn't quite hide her excitement on being outside at last despite the lack of smile. Her step was lighter and she swung her arms lightly. She walked a few steps ahead now, instead of behind, almost as if she were free.

That was the plan. He hadn't been straight with Jyuu earlier. He was pretty certain there was nothing wrong with her that couldn't be explained away by abuse and her OCD. Exposing her to freedom, something she'd willingly given up on committing herself, would make her yearn for it. Yearning for it would lead to slips and he needed her to slip.

"It's amazing how the body speaks." Shunsui mused aloud. Nanao ignored him, kicking off her shoes to walk with the grass between her toes.

"People say so much without uttering a word, even a sound... Body language is a wonderful thing. Compulsive, uncontrollable... Scary, when you stop to think about it, how much you tell an observant onlooker accidentally. Like swinging your arms or lightening your step when you see the sun for the first time in four months."

She tensed.

"Or tensing when you get called on it. I knew you wanted to be out here before we ever walked out the door. You wrapped your arms around yourself, protection, in case I wasn't going to let you out without speaking."

She glanced pointedly at his hands which were clenching loosely and releasing as he walked.

"Oh I know I do it too." He agreed. "What number am I on?"

She flashed ten fingers twice the four, five, six as he clenched. At six he put his hands in his pocket.

"Correct. You got the break timing right too by the way, and no. I'm not as angry as you think I am."

She rolled her eyes.

"Why not? Well because I don't need a folder to do it to you too."

"Your controls are good. Your biggest issue is your hair. You can't stand it being out of place, especially that fringe of yours. Yes. I know you don't fix it all that much. Your tell is your nose. Your hand goes to your hair, you stop it, it diverts to your glasses, but you consider that fixing too, so you touch your nose instead. Every nine touches you're allowed push your glasses up. Every thirty six you have to touch your hair. Wonder did your shrink as a kid ever catch your number issues... Rare to display both. I wouldn't have caught it, only for personal experience in the matter. I don't understand why you like thirty six though... It's just... Wrong." He shook his head.

He grinned. He had her. She was dying to argue that one. It was compulsive. She settled for shaking her head strongly.

He flopped down in the grass and she followed his lead without being told.

"Bet you think thirty six is great. Three derivatives are your thing aren't they?"

Her look said a grudging yes. She thought herself above it. Unsurprising. She probably loathed her OCD and he'd just called her on the undiagnosed part of it.

"Sometimes I think it would be easier if I was a derivative guy. Three would be a lot faster than thirty seven. But, that's my number." He shrugged. He could read the why straight off her face.

"I don't know why. Why threes?"

She shrugged in agreement.

"I wish you'd just talk to me you know. I wouldn't have to read your stupid profile then." He said, flopping back and looking at the sky.

Nanao simply sat watching him.

"Wouldn't have to call you on things you could just tell me. You know you did give something away in my profile." He said, relaxed.

She arched an elegant eyebrow.

"You used the word shrink in a formal document. That's scorn. Don't think all that much of us do you?" He asked, glancing her way. She rolled her eyes in reward. "You'll shrink every single one of us, but you don't consider yourself a shrink do you?"

She shook her head.

"You're a scientist. I always loved the idea of neuroscience to be honest. Finding logic in madness..."

She smiled.

"You think so too I take it. You have a beautiful smile Nanao, you should use it more often."

She shot him a warning glare and he chuckled.

"It's been all I was ever going to do since I was a kid sitting on the other side of the coffee table. Figure the mind out. Sounded like fun and if I could work out what the hell my problem was with the number thirty seven that was all the better."

Her lips twitched and he knew exactly what she was thinking.

"Nope, never did, but hey I found a pretty interesting career out of it all. Your sessions nearly up, I'd be happy to stay out with you but I've Rosie straight after you."

She nodded at the grass, pushing back to her feet. Shunsui could almost feel her mood fall. If she wasn't depressed she would be soon enough. He thought sympathetically.

"Tell you what. It's June. How about we take your sessions outside every day?"

Her eyes lit up and he smiled.

"One catch. You stay responsive."

She shrugged.

"I'll take that as a yes. What's your favourite season Nanao?"

She pointed at the sky.

"Summer huh? I had you pegged an autumn woman." He saw the question in her eyes.

"Me? I love the spring." She wrinkled her nose and he laughed easily. "I get that a lot. I mean the cherry blossoms are nice and all but it's still cold and dull and rainy."

She nodded.

"Everything comes back to life in the spring. Why do you like the summer?"

She gestured to the vast expanse of grass.

"Outdoor girl."

She nodded.

"You play any sports?"

She made a so-so gesture with a hand.

"Not properly?"

She shook her head telling him he didn't understand.

"Ah! You don't play you do something?"

She nodded again.

"Knew you had to do something. You're remarkably fit for a nutcase. You always wander barefoot... Yoga?"

She scrunched her nose, shaking her head before suddenly spinning. Her foot was by his cheek before he registered the kick.

"You're a martial artist?" He asked laughing. She nodded happily. "How long?"

She flashed fifteen.

"Fifteen years. That's impressive. I've boxed since I was the same age." She gave him the 'I'm impressed' look.

"Can I ask a serious shrink question?"

She shrugged with a look that said she knew it would come.

"How do you deal with the martial arts with your OCD?"

She opened her mouth to say I but caught herself, closing it again and frowning in thought. She didn't know how to explain silently.

"Tell you what that can be your assignment for the session. Write it down."

She shrugged.

Her eyes widened slightly and Shunsui followed her line of sight to the grand piano. As he watched she pulled them away, tapping her wrist in a 'you're late' motion.

"Crap." He murmured, glancing at his watch. "I am. Come on Nanao."

He scanned through the protective doors.

"Seeya tomorrow Nanao!"

OoOoOoOoOoOo

Of course... He thought as he scanned the paragraph. Seven years old the reason she'd started martial arts was simple. It was a ploy to gain some control over her compulsion. Physical exercise meant sweaty skin and messy hair. It was a great way to teach her control and she'd just kept it up. Nanao didn't have a problem with dirty so physical methods of control were a great idea. His boxing had been the same idea. Of course to this day he had to hit the bag thirty seven times or multiples thereof but it gave him a reason to fight. One couldn't fight a match while counting. It had taken him a long time to get there but he had gotten there. He could participate in a fight just like Nanao could. It just had to be fixed at a later time.

She'd been remarkably open during the session. Shunsui knew taking her outside had been a good call. She knew behaving herself would give reward in the form of more outings. He found her company surprisingly nice despite the fact that she wouldn't speak. She was a good listener and a great silent communicator. He'd learnt a lot. The fact that summer was her favourite season was important, as was her willingness to walk barefoot in the grass and to communicate about a hobby. She had a life. One she'd put on hold. The martial arts had been the most important discovery. He'd immediately done some digging and found she wasn't just a passive practitioner by a long shot. She was a fourth degree taekwon-do blackbelt with multiple national titles to her name. That said a lot. It said the person who put the marks on her back was almost certainly male and extremely physically fit to hold her still. Whether the art transferred well to the street or not nobody just held a woman that fit and trained down. He knew from the pictures he'd seen that she could throw one hell of a punch.

Sessions that week continued in a similar manner. He learnt a little but in general just allowed her to become a little more comfortable around him. Thursday they hadn't talked at all. Nanao had just laid on her back watching the clouds go by.

He was willing to take her off suicide watch. She wasn't suicidal now. He was reluctant however. Trips outside were leverage he didn't have the trust to give up just then. She'd figure it out soon enough. He hadn't worked out yet whether she'd call him on it or just play nice in order to get her freedom but she would get it somehow...

OoOoOoOoOoOo

"Thanks for agreeing to do this Shun."

"Nonsense you and Retsu need a night to yourself every now and then." Shunsui waved him off. Jyuushiro was far too polite. He ran the hospital and Retsu was head of the female wing. All they'd had to do was order him take a night shift but instead Jyuu had begged like a friend. Shunsui didn't mind. It would be interesting to see what went on in here at night. The crazies came out at night after all. He rolled his eyes at the horrid saying.

Okay so two hours later he was willing to admit that the night did seem to aggravate a number of the patients. He still didn't like that saying though.

The bed checks were the most irritating part of the night. He didn't know how the poor patients got any sleep, though he did get an insight to a number of his patients sleeping habits. Rosie, surprisingly, slept like a rock. Jenny woke every time the door opened despite her meds. Nanao didn't even pretend like she'd taken her meds. She was wide awake and alert every time Shunsui stuck his head around the door. He wouldn't force her to take sleeping pills. He knew for a fact she slept late meaning she _was _sleeping, just at the hours she wanted. That was fine by him. She was just writing anyway.

He groaned as the alarm went off beside him, signifying another bed check. Four am. Gods night shifts were tiring. He'd always scorned the fact that there was _always_ a patient in solitary from the night before when he got in for his shift. He was starting to sympathise. Keeping certain patients calm and out of solitary was increasingly difficult. He was adamant he could do it though. He was a good doctor damnit.

Sighing he ran fingers through his tangled hair before rubbing his face to wake himself up and rising.

The sobs were the first thing he noted on leaving the hut. Someone was upset. He couldn't identify the voice and shrugged. Crying was normal on this ward. He grabbed his torch and headed for room one and Samantha. She was out like a light.

Three doors down he heard the sobs from down the hall escalate.

"Damnit." He cursed. "What room?" He threw at the night nurse.

"Fifteen sir. Ise."

Damnit that was why he hadn't registered the voice. He'd never heard Nanao make a sound before.

"She ever cried like this?"

"No sir. I've never heard her so much as whine."

"Lets go see what's wrong then shall-"

He was interrupted by the shatter of glass.

"What the-?"

"I'll put money on it being her mirror." Shunsui returned, sprinting down the corridor. Renji followed on his heels.

"Nanao." Said Shunsui throwing the door open. His face softened. He'd been bang on. Nanao stood in the middle of the room, half changed for bed. Her sleep top had fallen from her loose hands. Her back faced the mirror and blood ran ribbons down her right hand. She shook from head to toe.

"Ise what's the matter with you?" Renji demanded. "Thought you were saner than this?"

"Shut up Renji." Shunsui shot in the nurse's direction. "Nanao sweetheart... did you see your back?"

She nodded, still shaking. She was tapping. Shunsui noted worriedly. Her index fingers against her thumbs rapidly.

"Alright sweetheart it doesn't matter." He soothed. "Come here and let me see that hand."

She shook her head, still tapping rapidly.

"It's okay you can finish." He soothed. "High number?"

She nodded, tears still streaming down her cheeks.

"Okay." He murmured as she dropped into his arms still tapping. A sob passed her lips and Shunsui brought his arms up to rub her back. "Alright. Renji go and finish checks I'm going to take Nanao here up to the infirmary."

"Yes sir."

"I know not yet." Shunsui soothed as Renji left. She wanted this under control before she faced everyone. She couldn't stand exposure of her actual problems he realised. She'd lost control. It happened all OCD sufferers every now and then regardless of their level of control normally. Shunsui was certain this was the first true mental illness he'd ever seen her exhibit.

Her cries were soft. He'd expected her to have quite a hard voice with her personality but with cries that soft she was probably incredibly soft spoken. He'd had to control himself as his hands touched her scarred back. These weren't light scars like he'd expected. They were short deep and precise. This was torture, not simple cutting. No wonder she'd flipped. There was no organisation to them, no pattern at all. She probably knew better than to look at them.

"Accident?"

She nodded against his shoulder.

"Alright it doesn't matter Nanao don't get more upset on me. You looked by accident. That's okay."

He felt her arms rise to squeeze. She must have hit her number then. It was hundreds up if not thousands with her speed.

"Okay calm down." He soothed. "Don't want them all thinking you're crazy now do we? Rosie'll be worried you're after her title."

She laughed silently before pulling away, wiping her eyes impatiently with her left hand and looking distastefully at her right, bringing it to her face and calmly pulling a shard of glass from her knuckles.

"Hard ass are we?" He teased.

She shrugged, grabbing her sleep top and pulling it over her head.

"Come on then you're going to need stitches. You know that's going to scar?"

She flashed her left hand at him. Her knuckles were full of old scarring from punching. That was interesting. The scarring obviously wasn't what had set off her OCD. It was the lack of organisation and pattern in them then. Obviously there was an emotional aspect, of course there was, but pattern was easier to deal with than hating something as permanent as scarring.

"Hey Nanao... Do you know how many there are?" He asked carefully.

She shook her head dully.

"There are thirty three, according to your file."

Her head shot up instantly.

"Does that help?"

She nodded, shooting him a thankful look.

"That's no problem sweetheart. You up for answering some questions?"

She stayed unmoving.

"Keeping in mind that Retsu isn't going to give you a mirror back until she has reason to it might be a good idea."

She nodded.

"Your problems relating to your OCD and the scarring. Pattern not presence?"

She nodded, playing with the sheets on the hospital cot as the nurse appeared.

"You don't look at them."

Nanao shook her head.

"But you have before?"

She nodded uncomfortably.

"Before coming here."

She nodded again.

"Did you set off an anxiety attack that time?"

She shook her head.

"Why not?"

She held up two fingers before touching her index finger to the backs of her hips.

"You haven't looked since there were only two?"

She nodded.

"And they were in a pattern." Shunsui understood.

She nodded stronger.

"What was your number earlier?"

She took a pen off the side table writing 1212 on the nurse's clipboard. He nodded.

"I'm not going to make you sort this Nanao, but you know the drill if you want to."

She sighed and nodded.

"Good. You okay now?"

She nodded again.

"I'm going to go make sure everything is okay on the ward. You know your way back right?"

She pointed at his key card.

"I'll make sure the guards let you through."

"Dr. Kyoraku are you sure...?"

"Yep. She's not stupid Isane-san." Shunsui winked at her and strolled out of the room.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

"Shunsui is that blood?"

"Yup."

"Yours?"

"Nope."

"Who are you writing up?"

"Nanao."

"Nanao?" Said Retsu surprised. "There's never been a peep out of her before what happened? Is that her blood?"

"She put a fist through her mirror."

Unohana frowned.

"All reports say she reacts positively to a mirror. Her OCD acted up?"

"She caught a glimpse of her back and lost it."

"The scarring? Why lose it now?"

"Because she's been smart enough not to look at it until now. Retsu she hasn't looked at it since there were only two."

"She hadn't looked?"

"She knew what would happen. You have no idea how controlled her OCD is."

"I treated her too Shunsui." Retsu reminded. "Severe OCD in relation to personal neatness. Issues with her glasses."

"Did you know she only touches her glasses after she touches her nose eight times? Or that she only touches her hair every thirty sixth touch?"

"I... No. I didn't. Nanao has a number thing?"

"Multiples of three." Shunsui confirmed. "It's never been documented before despite diagnosis with OCD at the age of five. It only kicks in in her control of her primary, appearance, though she did set off numbers when she lost it. I'm pretty sure it was replacement for physical self harm."

"Oh?"

"What do you do when you try on something you don't like?"

"You take it... off." Unohana finished, understanding at last. Nanao didn't like her skin. "So her number issues stem from her control of her neat issues."

"Yes, and because they are her control she has no control over them."

"So you were able to count. How did she react earlier?"

"Touching her index fingers and thumbs. Both hands, 1212 times. It couldn't be interrupted."

"That's amazing. She has so much control she can stop herself looking?"

"Impressive isn't it?"

"Is she in solitary?"

"Oh god no. She was calm as ever once I let her finish tapping. I left her in the infirmary and told the guys to let her through so I'll assume she's either in the common area or in her room."

"Shunsui!" Unohana scolded.

"I told the guy on security to call me if she didn't appear. You'd be amazed what a bit of independence will get you with Nanao. You know she'll communicate with me now. Have a full conversation provided she doesn't have to speak."

"I don't understand her." Unohana huffed. "She drives me absolutely nuts Shunsui she seems perfectly fine!"

"That's because she is." Shunsui shrugged. "I replaced her depression meds with placebos during the week not that she's been taking them anyway." Shunsui rolled his eyes. "She's perfectly happy. I don't doubt whatever abuse she suffered made her depressed, she's prone since adolescence, but she's not depressed now. Nor is she suicidal or incapable of communicating."

"You still have her on suicide watch."

"Trips outside are leverage at the moment. I plan to take her off next Thursday anyway."

"Why Thursday?"

"It's her birthday." He shrugged.

"So if she's not depressed, suicidal or antisocial why is she here? I mean her OCD is perfectly liveable, all sufferers lose it sometimes..."

"Keep that in mind while you're dealing with her and you'll get a long way. She's here because what she is doing is self harm 101 Retsu."

"Oh." Said Unohana understanding. "You think she's punishing herself?"

"For a number of things. Being weak enough to be abused like that in the first place for a start."

"Shunsui she's just a woman any man..."

"No. Not any man. Not in her eyes. She has fifteen years and a fourth degree blackbelt behind her in Taekwon-do Retsu. Her ability to physically protect herself is incredibly important to her. The second thing is she's punishing herself for hiding here and not opening her mouth and naming the bastard responsible."

"She's punishing herself by lengthening her stay."

"Trips outside make good leverage for a reason." Shunsui agreed.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

Shunsui looked up and smiled at the person who'd just knocked on the door. He closed the journal he was holding.

"Alright you win. I laughed."

Nanao smiled. He knew she loved the fact that he couldn't help but find her amusing despite others opinions on her rather scathing humour.

"Come on lets get going."

"Walking around the grounds together every day had become something of an easy habit. He'd honestly admit to himself that he did miss it weekends when there were no sessions in progress and if he happened to be working he tended to take Nanao and a few of the more stable girls out into the grounds anyway. It was July and sunny. There was no point in them being cooped up inside all day. Besides. There was something about the grounds that relaxed everyone. Basically it wasn't the hospital. He always enjoyed watching the rather unconventional friendships between the patients. The only one who didn't socialise was Nanao and Shunsui knew why too. She enjoyed watching the interactions just as much as he did. When she did socialise it made Shunsui laugh. So she didn't talk. So the hell what?, in the women's opinions. That was a minor inconvenience. She was surprisingly good at fitting in, just enjoying playing the part. Sometimes he envied her just a little, the way she fearlessly integrated. He would always be in the position of authority. What he wouldn't give to see it from Nanao's viewpoint. He swore when he got her talking he'd pick her brain of these experiences until there was nothing left.

Today was just them, an actual scheduled session. They followed a path well worn over the past month and a bit of sessions. She still didn't talk, but her communication was up.

"Nanao. You aren't depressed are you?"

She shook her head easily.

"Have you ever been depressed?"

She nodded.

"Have you been depressed since your adolescence?"

She nodded again.

"Were you depressed? The first time you tried to kill yourself?"

She shook her head, eyes thoughtful.

"The second time?"

She nodded.

"How'd you do it?"

Nanao shot him a look that said she knew he already knew this before miming pills and alcohol. She gestured with her hands as if to say what else? She was an image obsessed pharmacologist and there was no better way to go than barbs and alcohol.

"Both times?"

She shook her head, raising one finger and miming taking pills again.

"First time just barbs."

She nodded.

"Why?"

She shivered and shook her head. She wasn't going to talk about it then. It didn't matter. He hadn't expected to get as far as he had and he had the important information. First time around she was not depressed and had not taken with alcohol. That meant one thing. Her first suicide attempt was a direct result of abuse and was impulsive. No pharmacologist worth their degree, let alone a masters and most of a doctorate took barbs without alcohol when the event was planned.

"Alright sweetheart I'm not going to make you. I'm going to tell you what you just told me though. All I need is a nod."

She nodded to go ahead.

"The first time was a direct reaction to the abuse and completely impulsive. You didn't plan to that day, did you?"

She shook her head, eyes cast to the floor now.

He'd suspected it wasn't planned. The first time she'd been in the university. She'd taken the barbs straight from a colleague's workbench late in the evening after everyone had left.

"Nanao. The second time... you were at home, and you took with alcohol. Did you wake up that morning and think today I am going to kill myself?"

Two tears slipped down his cheeks and he swallowed. He hated doing this to Nanao. Of all his patients she was the closest to a friend and he hated making her cry.

She took a shaky breath before shaking her head firmly.

That next morning he got his answer in the form of input.

_My brain is too big to deprive the world of._

It sounded egotistical, in a way it was, but Shunsui had a unique view point in that he'd been in that position too. She knew too much to take herself out of the world like that. She was capable of too much, so Nanao never contemplated. Her logic always won out. She acted as a direct result of what was happening those days. Shunsui silently swore if he ever got his hands on the bastard responsible for all this he'd throttle him himself.

He'd dropped the topic after that conversation, falling back to idle chatter between friends. He smiled at the memory of one of the male patients appearing and flinging his arms around her. Nanao had just smiled and returned the hug. Kiki was real affectionate, but completely harmless. He thought he was seven years old. Most people took it the wrong way. Trust Nanao.

The smile on the man's face had warmed his heart when he released her. Nanao had just smiled fondly and watched him skip away happily. According to Jyuu he'd been full of chat on the matter his next session. He'd been told to thank her.

She could do a lot of good, Ise Nanao, if she ever let herself.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

"Anybody seen Nanao?" Shunsui asked as he entered the common room. A few of the women shook their heads. "Retsu, seen Nanao?"

"Not since she was with her parents and sister no. You're the one that took her off watch Shunsui."

"Doesn't matter." Said Shunsui thoughtfully. "I think I know where she is..."

He hadn't brought her this way since her first session, in favour of getting outside faster but he had an inkling... Woman of her IQ she was probably taught an instrument...

Sure enough music registered on his senses as he approached the entrance hall. Half hearted, he noted, like she could play properly but just really wasn't bothered.

He stopped at the end of the hall to watch. He'd found her alright. Nanao had one of her elbows leaning against the edge of the piano. The other hand fluttered over keys lightly. She was staring unseeingly at something on the ground. There was a distinct sadness to her presence as she pressed the keys.

He approached silently, scooping up the book from the floor and examining it. The wind and the willows. He frowned. It was newer than the library copy. He flipped the front cover and his blood boiled for her.

_Happy birthday sweetheart. Thought you might enjoy just getting away. Lots of love, Mum and Dad._

He knew for an absolute fact that her parents had written to her to ask what she'd wanted and he could tell you right then it wasn't the wind and the fucking willows. He hated that! Hated when relatives treated patients like children. They were not children and with Nanao it just stung even more. If she was anything like him she'd read this, to herself, at three years of age. To hand it to someone, in the middle of their doctorate, twenty three years of age with an IQ they'd had tested themselves was just... It was just plain stupid.

His anger had obviously shown on his face because Nanao gave him a thankful look, still pressing keys absently.

"Not what you asked for I take it?"

Nanao shook her head as he sat down on the piano bench beside her.

"I'm sorry sweetheart." He said genuinely. "If I'd known I would have taken it off them before they even thought about it."

She nodded.

"Happy birthday, Nanao."

She smiled sadly.

"I know you know better than letting your parents get to you... What has you so down on your special day?"

She flinched at the words.

"Nanao. Tell me."

She mimed throwing a graduation cap.

"Graduation?" Asked Shunsui confused. "I thought it was in December?"

She nodded, miming throwing the hat again before shaking her head.

"You aren't going to graduate?"

She nodded, returning her attention to the keys.

"Why not?"

She tapped her wrist.

"Time... Oh sweetheart today was your deadline?"

She nodded, biting her shaking lip and brushing away her tears impatiently.

"I'm so sorry." He murmured, squeezing her waist. She rested her head against his shoulder tiredly.

"You had a pretty shitty birthday huh?"

She shrugged, as if to say what else is new. Shunsui knew better to dig on that one. Her parents were a relationship they hadn't touched before and obviously a problematic one from what he'd just learnt.

"You know you can pick your doctorate back up... You won't graduate in December like you planned, but you'll get there. I promise you that."

Two more tears fell and she nodded, smiling wetly.

"You gonna play me something real?"

She sat up, bringing both hands to the keys before pressing down with elegant fingers. She was good, not to genius proportions, but she played well. She smiled as Shunsui gently worked in a melody to go with the song. He smiled to himself. Piano was something he'd always excelled with. He'd played the one in his home from the age of three and loved to just sit and play, make things up like this off the cuff. Nanao clapped when the song ended.

"Thank you. You play very well."

She made a so-so motion with her hand before miming plucking strings with both hands.

"The harp? You play the harp?"

She nodded.

"Well that's a damn site cooler than the piano."

She grinned.

"You'll have to play for me sometime."

She mimed with her hands.

"Yes they are rather huge. I'm sure we'll find a way though." He teased lightly. "Do you play many instruments?"

She nodded.

She held up four fingers then moved her thumb to indicate five, kind of.

"Five. Impressive."

You? She indicated by pointing.

"Just two. I pretty much stuck to my piano but I learned the violin as a mobile option."

She smiled.

"Is music in your family then?"

She nodded.

"Your dad?"

She mimed the guitar.

"Mum?"

"Flute?" He guessed at her mime.

She nodded.

"Your sister?"

Nanao smiled, nodding and indicating the flute before raising a hand.

"Flute big time. Her profession?"

Nanao nodded again.

"That's impressive coming from physicist parents."

Nanao smiled, glancing at the book once more glumly.

"Cheer up and stop moping. It's your birthday." He ordered lightly.

She rolled her eyes good naturedly before rising.

"Heading back?"

She nodded.

"I'm heading home." He returned at her prompt. "I won't be in tomorrow I'm on nights for the rest of the week so I'll see you tomorrow evening?"

She nodded, waving as she grabbed her book, heading in the opposite direction. He didn't know whether to flinch or laugh when she tossed it on the book cart for patients in solitary without a backward glance before disappearing through the first set of security doors.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

Shunsui looked up at the knock on the hut door, startled from his doze.

"Nanao. Not like you to be out and about so late."

She watched her feet before looking up and making a face to indicate she needed something and didn't want to ask.

"What can I do for you sweetheart?"

She handed him a slip of paper.

He read the title and smiled.

"This is meant to be very _very _good I've been meaning to pick up a copy actually. Is this what you asked your parents for?"

She nodded.

"Well. I don't have it, you probably already know that by now though. I'll pick you up a copy though, on the condition that I get to read it too."

She nodded happily and tapped the safe box with her name on it.

"I'm sure it won't empty my pockets. Do you know what ridiculous salaries we earn?"

She rolled her eyes, indicating that yes, she knew and didn't think much of it. He chuckled.

"I'll pick it up tomorrow Nanao. Do you want to swap that one?"

She nodded and he threw her the key.

"Just bring it back alright you know Kasey has a thing about setting important documents on fire."

She nodded.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

"Hey Jyuu."

"Hey Shun, how was the night shift?"

"Relatively uneventful. That's three nightshifts without having to put anyone in solitary Jyuu have I a record yet?" He teased.

"Record is five Shun."

"I'll have it by Monday then." He teased.

"Maybe. I just wanted to catch you before you left Shun I'm taking a few of the male patients down into the village would you tag along? Just for an hour?"

"Sure. Any sexual deviants?"

"No no you should be safe to bring a couple of the girls if you like who wants out?"

"Rosie could do with the outing I think, maybe Kasey too and Nanao's never had the privilege before. Of course I'd have to dig her out of her new book first..."

Jyuushiro laughed.

"I heard about that she must have really wanted it to resort to asking you."

"She asked her parents for it for her birthday."

"She didn't get it?"

"They gave her the wind and the willows instead." Said Shunsui distastefully.

"Ouch. How'd that go down?"

"She dropped it on the solitary library kart."

Jyuushiro grimaced.

"Gather up the girls we'll be leaving in twenty. Raid their safe boxes so they all have a few bob to spend."

"Will do."

Shunsui knocked on the door and stuck his head around. He wasn't surprised to see Nanao was asleep. It was positively early as far as her sleeping pattern went but he knew she would want to go.

"Nanao." He whispered.

No response. He crossed the darkened room.

"Nanao."

Still nothing.

"Nanao sweetheart." He said, gently shaking her shoulder. "Her eyes fluttered open and eventually focused on him, question coming to them, then worry.

"Everything's okay." He soothed placing a gentle hand on her shoulder to stop her jumping. "It's still early by your standards. Jyuu and I are taking a gang down town. I thought now you're off watch you might like to come with. I'm sorry I woke you, I just thought you might-"

She caught his hand, interrupting him, and smiling before nodding. He smiled back.

"Alright then up you get. You have five minutes and your hair is a mess."

She shot him a playful glare at his dig at her OCD before rolling her eyes and rising just as he leaned forward to speak again.

"Ow!" He exclaimed as their foreheads connected. Nanao made a noise of discomfort, hand shooting to the sore spot to rub. "Sorry Nanao. Damnit you move fast when you want to don't you? Here, let me see." He said, carefully pulling her hand away. He chuckled at the red patch.

"Well. We have lovely matching red spots but I think we'll survive." He said, rubbing a finger down hers to check for a bump. It was only slight. She smiled as he tipped her nose lightly, dropping her eyes to her covers.

"Now I've successfully disturbed your beauty sleep and injured you I'll go get the others before something more drastic happens shall I?"

She smiled, laughing silently, checking his bump before playfully tugging on his pony tail.

"Trust me yours isn't much better right now." He teased. "I kind of like it actually." He winked and she gave him a swift kick to the backside.

"Behave I can still leave you behind you know."

She crossed her arms and he could practically hear what she was thinking.

_You're the one that wasn't behaving Dr. Kyoraku and you wouldn't dare._

"Yeah you're right I probably wouldn't dare. Who knows what you'd do to me in my sleep." He fake shivered.

She rolled her eyes pointing at the door.

"I'm going I'm going." He said amused.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

Jyuushiro watched his company with interest as they walked down the hill into the town. It was always interesting to mix the genders of patients. They couldn't for obvious reasons in the wards but it gave an insight into the patients one usually didn't have. Rosie chattered happily with Kiki and Stuart. It was always surprising how well she reacted to the male patients. She was probably one of the most unstable women on the ward with her schizophrenia. Her reactions were completely unpredictable most of the time but she'd never reacted badly to the male presence. Jyuushiro knew she had a twin brother that she was very fond of. It probably stemmed from the constant male presence growing up. Kasey and Kyo flirted shamelessly. Kasey was a pyromaniac and Kyo bi-polar. They were two of the more dangerous patients. They were both so outwardly sane when not in the grips of their illness. Jyuushiro kept an eye on them both. Haku kept to himself, walking alone. Nanao was silent, as always, but kept relatively close to Shunsui. She was looking around with interest. This wasn't anywhere near her home town and her surroundings were new. Shunsui himself was absentminded. Jyuushiro didn't even attempt to understand what went on in his friend's mind when he was silent like that. He wasn't tapping, which indicated he wasn't thinking particularly hard at any rate. There were benefits to growing up with Shunsui. Ukitake knew he had a rare insight on the man. Nobody who met adult Shunsui had that insight. Accept Nanao... Jyuushiro acknowledged. Nanao had picked out his problems within a week. Ukitake would never breathe a word of it, not even to his wife, but he'd read that entry against Shunsui's wishes before he collected the journal from the office one day. Nanao had taught him a thing or two about his best friend. She was remarkably observant. She'd make a great shrink.

His attention was drawn back to the woman in question as she clicked her fingers in front of Shunsui's eyes. He shook his head, clearing it and resuming tapping. She pulled her ear at the questioning look and nodded to Rosie and the boys. Ukitake tuned in as well to listen to what she thought Shunsui needed to hear.

The white haired man smiled. Rosie was talking about her brother, something she was remarkably reluctant to do in sessions with Shunsui. He watched his friend mouth a thank you and Nanao nod easily, listening in as well. Jyuushiro still wasn't quite used to it, looking at her from a normal point of view and not as a patient, but he guessed she wanted to hear too. Nanao's area of choice was schizophrenia... He supposed Shunsui had a point, well, Nanao did at any rate and Shunsui had communicated it. She was far easier to understand when you looked at her with acceptance to her level of education, something that wasn't often done.

Rosie spoke for a few minutes, answering the boys questions before her attention was taken by an ice cream parlour. They _always _went to the ice cream parlour when in town, it was purposely conditioned.

"Lets go then." Said Jyuu easily to a fair amount of excitement.

"Right guys what are you having?" Shunsui asked as they got to the counter.

"I want strawberry."

"I want watermelon."

"The purple one."

"Mint!"

"Lemon."

"Caramel chew chew."

"I'll have orange Shun." Said Ukitake amused.

"Sure Jyuu. Ask Nanao what she wants will you?"

Jyuu realised the woman was beside him with a start.

"What would you like Nanao?"

She pointed and indicated a tub rather than a cone.

"Girl after your own heart Shun. Tub not cone though."

Shunsui chuckled.

"Alright guys go find seats." He yelled. "I'll bring them over."

It took a few minutes but eventually everyone was sitting. Shunsui slipped into the bench opposite Nanao and Haku followed by Jyuushiro. They handed over the pair's ice creams. Nanao offered a nod of thanks.

"Moment on the lips Nanao."

She glowered at him, shooting him a look.

"Yep. I'm a hypocrite." Said Shunsui amused.

She indicated exercise.

"You were down in the exercise hall last night what did I do?"

She nodded firmly.

"I sat on my backside, ate crisps and dozed but you already know that. I do have training this evening." He defended.

She held up two fingers.

"Yep, I'll have to work twice as hard. At least I didn't drop the healthy part. Gotta have something healthy to wash down all that chocolate and marshmallow."

She rolled her eyes before scrunching her nose and making a face.

"You don't like wafers?"

She mimed vomiting.

"Make you sick do they? You know my older sister is exactly the same. Never understood it."

She rolled her eyes.

"What?"

She fluttered her lashes in a false innocent look.

"Ah! Thanks a bunch Nanao." He complained as the icecream dripped down his arm. She threw her napkin at him.

Jyuushiro had to hold back a laugh as he flicked what was on his hand at her landing a few droplets on her face.

She rolled her eyes with a 'you're such a child' look."

"I do try dear."

She heaved a long suffering sigh.

"And now I have your napkin." He smirked as she reached for it and found it missing.

"Hilarious I know." He agreed at her look.

She rolled her eyes before sticking out her tongue and licking the drop off the tip of her nose.

"Woah that's impressive can you pick your nose with it."

"Yeah yeah I know I've just made your case." He said at her 'my point exactly' look.

He took pity and gave her her napkin back. She made a face at the chocolate smudges before carefully removing what was left on her face.

"All gone, promise." Said Shunsui at her questioning look.

"How do you do that?" Asked Haku suddenly.

"Do what Haku?"

"She's not even talking to you. How do you have a conversation?"

"But she is. She's just doing it without words." Shunsui explained.

"Is not."

Nanao gave him a look.

"Are not!"

Shunsui and Jyuu chuckled.

"Did she speak to you there?"

"No but-"

"But you still knew what she meant."

"I guess."

"If I couldn't read her face our sessions would be awfully boring." Shunsui offered.

Jyuushiro just sat back watching as Shunsui talked to the two patients. How far he'd come with Nanao was quite remarkable. She was so happy and, as silly as it sounded, talkative. Shunsui's ability to read her was impressive. It was almost as if it was an actual conversation these days. The really interesting part was when they fell silent. Shunsui accidently slipped into silent communication every few minutes and Nanao read just as well. Jyuushiro figured months of learning to communicate silently had probably taught her a lot about other's expressions. Shunsui honestly enjoyed her company. What was coming next would probably be hard on him. There was only one step. Shun was going to cut her off, soon too. Taking her communication away would force her to speak because she was too used to it now. It was almost sure fire but it would hurt the funny little friendship the two had.

As silly as it sounded she was good for Shunsui. Here he had a young woman sitting in front of him, a young woman with OCD and a genius IQ to match his. Someone who'd spent as much time on the wrong side of a psychiatrist's coffee table as he had. One who'd actually gone a step further and been committed long term. Shunsui needed that, to see that he was not on his own. There was a theory that said that those who'd been shrinked made the best shrinks but there weren't all that many out there who'd been shrinked as much as his best friend had.

The longer Shunsui spent pulling Nanao out of her shell the more convinced Jyuushiro was that his friend wasn't entirely off the mark in saying there was little wrong with Nanao at all. She wouldn't be long for seireitei home for the mentally unstable now. Jyuu was pretty sure it wouldn't be the last they heard of Nanao either. He hoped she and Shun kept in contact, that she forgave him for pulling what he was going to on her. He knew there was high chance she wouldn't however. It was truly unfortunate.

The way they played off each other was laughable really. Dripping chocolate icecream on the face of an OCD sufferer, really! There was a lot of trust in the action. Shunsui had to be absolutely certain she wouldn't lose it on him. Her control really was impressive. What was funnier was how she got him back. Jyuushiro was almost one hundred percent certain Shunsui hadn't noticed that she lightly tapped the back of her hand. Just once, but it was enough to set him off. She got her visible revenge in the teasing look she shot him to which he just rolled his eyes. They were like little children, but there was absolutely no malice.

Once the ice cream was done the chatter raised exponentially and they took their leave. It was Stuart who jumped at the music store.

"I'll take him." Said Jyuushiro easily.

"I can do it. Besides Nanao and I have a standing agreement. She promised to play for me if the opportunity came up."

"Ooooh! I want to hear too!" Said Kiki happily.

"I'll come too." Said Rosie.

"We'll head on to the bookshop then Shun. Do any of you want the bookshop?"

Everyone shook their heads.

"We'll collect you on the way back then, ne?"

Nanao's eyes lit up as they landed on the instrument and Shunsui gave her a nudge. She looked to the shop keeper who nodded, watching interestedly.

She settled on a piano bench she pulled over, carefully plucking a few strings and nodding at the tuning.

"Tune the old girl every day." Said the shop keeper. "She's been in this shop five years now."

Nanao smiled, settling her fingers and thinking for a second before nodding to herself. Shunsui grinned as the shop keeper's jaw fell open as Nanao played what was quite possibly the most beautiful variation of Debussy's Clair de Lune Shunsui had ever heard. This was Nanao's arrangement and she played it straight from memory. The two boys and Rosie were instantly silent. The smile that lit up Kiki's face was beautiful. The poor guy was so so innocent. He honestly loved the music. Stuart, who's idea it was to come in in the first place was smiling as he listened. Shunsui knew he was learning guitar in his free time on the ward. Shuuhei was teaching him during his shifts. He could only dream of being good enough to do something like this. Shunsui had to smile. She played the piano very well but her harp, her primary instrument, was in a completely different league.

The shop keeper's eyes had filled at what he was hearing and he nodded along in appreciation with the music.

"Well done my dear." He said as the final notes rang out.

"Nanao Nanao Nanao play the lion king song!" Said Kiki excitedly.

She played the first few notes questioningly and he nodded excitedly.

"Do you need the sheet music?" Offered the owner.

Nanao shook her head, making a so-so motion with her hand.

"She'll manage." Shunsui translated, coming to stand by the owner. "She doesn't talk huh?" Asked the owner as she began to play.

"Electively mute." Shunsui agreed, watching Kiki sway to the music happily. "Kiki loves the lion king. Knows the words by heart. Why don't you sing Kiki?" Shunsui offered.

The man blushed childishly, scuffing his foot.

"It's not at the start..."

Nanao immediately went back to the start with and encouraging smile. At first he just mouthed the words silently but eventually the quiet childlike voice rang out around the shop.

"That's lovely." Said the owner smiling softly.

"Sweet, the first time you hear it. It gets repetitive." Said Shunsui with a light smile. "She'll probably play you whatever you like if you want to make a request."

"I've never seen a harpist play quite like that from memory."

"Special lady." Shunsui agreed.

"How about some handel Miss Ise?"

Nanao nodded, moving her fingers to the right notes and falling into the rhythm of plucking strings again.

"Memory again, that's impressive."

There was a round of Led Zeppelin, followed by another Disney.

"How about some Beatles Nanao?" Asked Shunsui with a smile. "Yesterday?"

She frowned lightly and he pressed the first couple of notes on the piano. She made an O motion with her lips, nodding and pointing at the piano.

"Fair enough." He shrugged, placing his fingers on the keys. As one they nodded.

The others arrived as they played, immediately falling silent.

It was easily the favourite she'd played so far for Shunsui. She didn't know it all, she got lost in the verse and improvised, adding the most intricate melody to his base line giving him an excuse to play with the song himself. They took leads off each other and by the end both played off the top of their heads.

The shopkeeper gave a round of applause, trained enough to know what they'd just done was very very special and probably unlike anything he'd ever hear again in his life.

Nanao shrugged apologetically for getting lost and he smiled.

"One more! We missed it." Kasey complained.

"Alright last one. What would you like to hear?"

"Can you play fireflies?"

"Ouch you're on your own Nanao." Said Shunsui amused. She frowned thoughtfully for almost a full minute before nodding absently.

"Ever played this before Nanao?"

"Dumb ass it only came out a month ago." Said Kasey rolling her eyes.

Shunsui smiled as she broke into a positively inspired version of the popular song.

"She's making that up off the top of her head right?" Jyuushiro asked Shunsui quietly.

"Yep."

"That's not normal is it?"

"No, I dare say you won't find many who can do it." Shunsui agreed.

"You can."

"Yep. But piano would have ruined it. The harp is far closer to the synth than the piano."

"That's really remarkable. I assumed she just played the piano. She's good."

"True. But not genius good. That's reserved for this." Said Shunsui simply.

"It's amazing." Jyuushiro agreed. "Look how happy Stuart is."

"You missed Kiki singing can you feel the love. He had the shopkeeper choked up."

"I'm sorry now."

"I'm sure she'll play it again sometime." Said Shunsui lightly, clapping with the rest as the song ended.

He said goodbye to the happy little group by the gates of the hospital.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

Shunsui jumped as a blood curdling shriek rang out followed by a male shout.

"Rosie! Rosie stop this! LITTLE HELP!" Renji yelled. A second later the panic alarms sounded and the doors locked down. Shunsui was out of his seat and running a split second later.

He stopped dead as he reached the male nurse's side.

"Rosie. Rosie pet you need to put that down." He said cautiously over the alarm. More staff appeared and he waved to stop. Their eyes landed on the scene and they stopped dead.

"Rosie." Shunsui took a cautious step forward.

"NO!" She shrieked. "NO stay back! You're out to get me! YOU'RE ALL OUT TO GET ME!" She screamed. "Stay away! STAY AWAY ALL OF YOU! I'll do it! You know I will!" She held the syringe tighter to her throat.

"Alright Rosie I'm staying where I am look."

He held up his hands in a sign of surrender and the woman shrieked again.

"I see them. I see them I see them I see them." She repeated, eyes darting frantically from person to person.

"See what Rosie. What do you see?"

"There's so many! They're coming to get me. They're coming!" She sobbed.

"What're coming?"

"They're coming!"

"How the hell did she get a syringe?" Shunsui whispered roughly.

"I have no idea Doc I swear she was in her bed last check I promise you!" Renji replied, taking a cautious step forward.

Rosie shrieked again and he took an immediate step back.

"Alright Rosie he didn't mean it."

"Stay away. MONSTERS! They got you too!"

"ROSIE! Rosie stop that please."

Suddenly the alarm was shut off and Rosie's eyes turned with everyone else's.

"Nanao?" Shunsui questioned. She held a hand towel in each hand.

"Don't worry Rosie I'm coming to help you!"

She winked at Shunsui and took off at a sprint into the ring of night nurses, pressing her back against the other woman's.

"Don't worry Rosie I got your back."

"You see them! You see them you see them!" Said the woman desperately.

"Yeah I see them. There's loads..."

"I know I know!"

"Ugly looking things aren't they?" She winked at Shunsui who was staring, gobsmacked.

"Their claws. Their claws are so long!"

"I know. I got them to stop their shrieking but those nails are so long! Why are you defending yourself with that little twig?"

"Twig?"

"The twig in your hand! That won't help you kill them! Throw it away quick and take one of my swords instead. Quick now, before they get you Rosie!"

Shunsui held his breath along with the rest of the staff as Rosie took the needle from her neck and looked at it.

"Quickly Rosie I can't hold them off alone much longer!" Said Nanao desperately.

"Okay!"

Shunsui released the breath he was holding as almost in slow motion the needle fell to the floor. Nanao threw a towel to the other woman simultaneously kicking the syringe out of Rosie's range.

Her face immediately relaxed into a smirk, almost playful in nature as she allowed herself enjoy the delusion and learn.

"Come on Rosie we can take them!"

"We can take them!"

Nanao smiled as she watched the woman's eyes dart, as she fought her monsters.

"We're winning Rosie! They're moving away! Can't you see! The nurses and doctors! They're letting them go! Come on Rosie! One last push. Scare them away!"

The woman let out an almighty shriek as she 'killed' the last one.

"They're gone! We did it they're gone!"

Shunsui could almost pinpoint the second the delusion ended. The woman crumpled and Nanao caught her, bringing them both to the floor as the woman's sobs echoed around the room. Then all hell broke loose.

Everyone spoke at once, shouting and speaking loudly.

"ENOUGH!" Shunsui roared at the top of his voice. Silence fell but for Rosie's sobs, she hadn't moved from Nanao's lap. Nanao just rubbed her hair soothingly, watching.

"Anyone who doesn't belong in this ward get the hell out now! Anyone who does go and make yourself useful. Bed checks. Now! Someone go and find out how the hell Rosie got into drug storage. Clear every patient's room. We don't know who was in on this little stunt and who wasn't.

Everyone hopped into action.

"Jyuu." Said Shunsui, running an exhausted hand through his hair.

"Shun what the hell happened in here?"

"Rosie got her hands on a syringe. The monsters came but Nanao... Nanao helped her kill them."

"Did she really." Jyuushiro murmured.

"She spoke." Said Unohana with a relieved smile.

Shunsui nodded.

"She spoke." Said Shunsui, rubbing a hand down his face, laughing with shock.

"I'm going to pull the video footage." Said Jyuushiro quietly.

"Lets get her to solitary." Said Retsu soothingly. "She's obviously broken meds."

"Guess I'm not getting my record old friend."

"But look what you did get Shun. She's alive." Said Jyuushiro, patting his friend's shoulder before taking his leave.

"Alright Rosie." Said Unohana soothingly as she and Shunsui lifted her to her feet. She still sobbed softly.

"Nanao please wait in my office I'll be with you in a little while."

She nodded.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

It was two hours later before Shunsui let himself back into his office. He hadn't expected to take so long. Jyuu had asked him to go through the footage of the episode with him then they'd found meds in three of the girl's rooms. They were still sorting through the footage to try and find the break in and exactly how it happened now.

Nanao was fast asleep on the couch when he entered the office. Unsurprising. The emotional upheaval acting had caused would be huge. The tear stains on her cheeks said she'd cried herself out. That was good. It meant she was processing what she'd done in saving Rosie's life. She'd put leaving into motion and she knew it.

He sat down in the chair in front of his desk, swivelling to watch her, resting his head in his hands, elbows supported by his knees. He sighed tiredly, rubbing his face. God he needed to sleep. He was completely drained, between the knowledge that without Nanao it was basically guaranteed Rosie would be dead or seriously injured and the fact that Nanao had spoken to save her life he was exhausted.

He couldn't help but smile tiredly. What a way to find your voice. He'd said it before and he'd say it again. He was incredibly jealous of her ability to involve herself like that. This was different though. She hadn't involved herself as a patient, no, she'd been Nanao the neuroscientist earlier. She'd known what she was doing. He smiled at his memory of the spark in her eye once the immediate danger was over, her bold confidence in her ability to change what Rosie was seeing by incorporating herself in the world Rosie saw. Her enjoyment in taking part in the delusion. The excitement and interest in her. The drive to pull the delusion to completion, knowing it would do so much for the other woman...

He'd been wrong, about her voice being soft. There was a very strict note of command when she spoke.

Her eyes were open.

Her eyes were open? He glanced back. Yep. She was awake and watching him quietly.

"Are you going to talk to me?" He asked simply.

"I don't see why not." She said quietly. Nope. It was soft now. This was what he had expected when he'd heard her cry. She must have two different tones for different situations he realised. She was speaking to him.

He smiled tiredly.

"Thank you, Nanao."

"For what?"

"For... Gods I don't know what for. For waiting for me. For saving Rosie's life. For talking to me now..."

Nanao shook her head, eyes sad.

"Please don't thank me for saving Rosie." She said quietly. "I don't deserve it. It's partly my fault in the first place."

"Nanao...?"

"Rosie didn't come off her meds, I always make sure she takes them. It was her meds that set her off in the first place."

"I changed her antipsychotic." Said Shunsui understanding.

"I knew there was a decent chance it'd set it off. I stuck a paragraph the pros and cons of trials on patients in my journal, I figured you'd read into it. The one time you didn't." She shrugged helplessly. "And I just figured she'd be okay after the first few days... You know? I couldn't let her kill herself over something I could have stopped. So please don't thank me for it."

"Roberts didn't mention any side effects that serious."

"Roberts needs his certification taken back and burned. Bastard doesn't even read the damn research." Nanao muttered.

"But he had to hear..."

"Let me tell you about the pharmaceutical sales industry Shunsui." Said Nanao tiredly. "They're vultures. Every single one of them. Companies don't ask for your qualifications these days. They ask for a portfolio. They want to see your picture. Pretty faces sell drugs, not the drug's actual therapeutic index, or god forbid it's lack of side effects. It's a glorified beauty pageant." She spat angrily. "I was gathering evidence on Thoralix and its side effects to hand into the FDA to try and get it pulled. Obviously Dav-"

Shunsui frowned as she mentally steadied herself.

"Obviously it was never followed up." She said quietly.

Shunsui silently tagged what she'd just said to be followed up later. That was definitely interesting.

"You thought there was sufficient evidence to pull it?"

"There would have been if- Well if I hadn't ended up here." She said sadly.

"How'd it get passed in the first place?"

Nanao scoffed.

"It had a pathetic but passable therapeutic index. It was well spun. It'd be a wonderdrug, if it didn't cause more than the odd psychotic break here and there. It won't kill anybody directly so the fact that so far I have thirteen cases of suicide and four 'deaths by misadventure' doesn't need to go in the leaflet.

"But people have to know!"

"Rule number one. Don't screw with the big companies, they can and will make sure you lose your job. I sincerely doubt Roberts read beyond the rack in front of him."

She rolled her eyes.

"Matsumoto Rangiku. She could sell you a plastic bag with a hole in it."

"Really?" Said Shunsui in a tone that said he didn't believe it.

"I mean it Shunsui. That woman is stunning." She rolled her eyes. "And does she ever know it."

"That's still no excuse."

"I know. I'm just telling you how it happened, that's all. I'm really sorry..." She said sadly. "I just... couldn't make myself open my mouth. When the alarms went off I just knew."

"Nanao it isn't your fault sweetheart. The system failed, okay? And that's ridiculous, that a system could fail in such a major way, but it happened. This hospital's system is not your responsibility. You aren't here to stop us killing patients. You're here to get better, to face your demons and get the hell out of this dump so you can finish your doctorate and find a job in a nice hospital, where patients check out."

"It still feels like my fault." She said quietly.

"I know." He murmured as he sat down on the couch beside her. "I know. It feels like my fault too."

"It isn't your job to know what these drugs do. It's your job to shrink our heads."

"And it's your job to relax and get better." He pointed out, sighing as she rested her head on his shoulder, hugging her back.

"You couldn't possibly have known any better. That's why shrinks like you keep pharmacologists like me around. At least you did your job."

"Nanao you went above and beyond your job tonight. That. Was fucking amazing by the way."

She smiled against his shoulder.

"It felt fucking amazing." She agreed. "I never realised how horrifying it must be, until I put myself in it. I'll take the OCD thanks."

He laughed against her hair.

"You'll have to tell me about it when we're a bit more awake. I'll admit I'm seriously jealous. I wouldn't have the confidence to do that in a million years. It's a unique insight."

"I'll tell you all about it, promise."

"Nanao."

"Hmm?"

"It's nice to hear your voice."

"It's kind of nice to speak. I don't sound like you expected do I?"

"How'd you work that out?"

"You frowned when I first spoke just now."

"Well... When I first met you I expected you to have a very hard voice, but the night of the mirror incident you cried so softly... Then when you first spoke to Rosie your voice was strong like I'd first expected but now it's soft like the cries suggested."

"Want the shrink answer?"

"That'd be nice."

"I have two distinct tones. The harder more demanding one is the one I use when I want to be heard. Work, taekwon-do, explaining, making people listen. The soft is the tone I use around people I know. Social situations, normal conversation, if I'm emotional or even tired. And no, before you ask I don't think either is more a part of me than the other."

He laughed outright.

"How did you know I was going to ask that?"

"You shrinks are more predictable than you think."

"Maybe you're just a better shrink than you think." Said Shunsui amusedly.

"Hmm maybe." She murmured. "For a shrink you're asking very few questions you know."

"You don't need questions right now." Said Shunsui simply. "My purpose in life is not to make you sicker, Nanao. You need to sleep now. Yes, I will eventually ask the hard questions and yes, it'll hurt. But you know the drill by now. You need to get worse to get better. I'll be the bad guy and you'll probably hate me, but I always act in your best interests. Right now your best interest is sleeping, so I'm going to make you sleep."

"Fair enough." Nanao murmured.

She was out cold ten minutes later.

Shunsui sighed, brushing the hair out of her face gently. He knew he'd been let of easy. She'd spoken before he had to cut her off and he couldn't ask for more, but now, with the looming questions he had to ask that she didn't want to answer he didn't feel very lucky. He was attached to Nanao, far too attached he knew... He sighed.

"Damnit Nanao you're the last person I want to hurt, can't you see that?" He muttered, brushing her hair back again before pulling her more securely into his arms and rising to put her to bed.

He met Jyuu on the way who smiled.

"She still talking?" He whispered.

"Yep. She's nothing if not predictable logically. She won't go quiet again because it makes no sense. That and staying quiet in the first place was sickening enough to her ego."

"Weak, right?"

"That's her viewpoint. I have news on what happened Rosie too. Get her door for me will you?"

"Sure."

"So what did you learn about Rosie?" Asked Jyuu as he door closed the door to Nanao's room gently.

"She didn't come off her meds. Nanao's been keeping a closer eye on her than thought. She makes certain she takes them."

"So what in the world set her off so badly?"

"Nanao's pretty certain it's that new antipsychotic."

"Thoralix? Why would she think that?"

"Apparently before she was committed she was working on getting it pulled from the market by the FDA. Hadn't enough to proceed and it was obviously just dropped when she arrived here but she's pretty certain she has thirteen suicides and four deaths by misadventure. She's adamant that the information is in the leaflets if you read them."

"How did it slip the system like that?"

"Nanao... doesn't... eh... think much of Dr. Henry Roberts."

"Ah." Said Jyuushiro slightly amused.

"Right. Now I haven't confirmed anything. Haven't pulled the information or anything yet obviously. But I'm going to pull all my patients off it until further notice."

"If she was going to the FDA that's reason enough for me to trust her word. I'll pull it from the hospital until this is investigated."

"She'll appreciate that."

Jyuushiro nodded.

"I'm going to go and pull the files from Roberts." Said Jyuushiro.

"I'm going to catch a few hours. If Nanao is up before I'm back ask her if there's any way you can get your hands on her research. It's not her doctoral work so she should be able to get it pulled."

"Good idea. It'll save us some hassle. You know Fudouku had an episode last week. He's Retsu's. I don't know what he's on but it's worth looking into."

"I know. I have a couple I want to double check." Shunsui agreed. "I'll see you in a couple of hours Jyuu."

OoOoOoOoOoOo

"Miss Ise. You're up."

"Hello Dr. Ukitake. I am." She said with a smile.

"Shunsui is still at home snoring his head off so your session is most likely cancelled."

"The one time I'm actually awake for early morning session." She said amused. "No I thought he might be. How is Rosie this morning?"

"A little calmer now. He sedated her last night to let her get some sleep. She's awake but a little delusional. Shunsui told me about your work on Thoralix. I've pulled the whole hospital off it."

"Rosie's clean?"

"It's twenty six hours since her last dose."

"Can she have visitors?"

"Provided you keep her calm yes, visitors would probably help her. You'll be in the solitary room. Video footage. I'll turn on the mic if you don't mind I intend on keeping her clean for Shun to talk to whenever he gets in but no harm in having what she says to you."

"Thank you."

"It's no problem. Thank you Miss Ise. I've watched the footage. Without your interference last night could have ended far more tragically."

Nanao dipped her head in acceptance.

"And thank you for talking to Shunsui this morning. You couldn't possibly have given him a better birthday present."

"I didn't know it's his birthday. I know he was going to have to cut me off soon though."

"You knew he'd cut you off?"

"Only logical. They use the same therapy with Schizophrenic patients in not entertaining their delusions. Harsh, but it always gets a result."

"He didn't want to."

"I know." Said Nanao with a smile and a shrug. "I'm going to go have a chat with Rosie."

OoOoOoOoOoOo

"You look frazzled." She said bluntly.

"Thanks." He said sarcastically, dropping down into the grass. "Jyuu pulled everyone off Thoralix so we now have nine schizophrenic patients off their meds to look out for."

"He told me. He asked for my research. I'm getting my sister to collect it."

"She doesn't mind?"

"She just wants an excuse to come in. Nearly wet herself when she heard my voice."

"I bet she did."

"Rosie have anything interesting to say?"

"She was most informative, but I'll put money on you already knowing that."

"Got me. I did get permission from Dr. Ukitake. He taped it for you."

"Nice." Said Shunsui amused. "You told me your sister plays flute right?"

"That's right. She has a recital tonight. Plays with the Tokyo city orchestra. Second chair to an old whine bag named Moto."

"Does she play anything else?"

"Nope. Stuck to her guns. I remember the day she got her first flute." She said with a smile. "She was nine, I was seven. My shrink had suggested learning an instrument to keep me occupied. My parents didn't want to leave her out. We got let loose and told we could have whatever we liked. Lisa picked flute. My parents never did get over how good she is."

"They didn't expect her to be good?"

"Lisa has always had the short straw in my family. We barely spoke as teenagers because of it. My IQ is 174, my mother's is one fifty eight and my father's one forty seven. Lisa's is one twenty seven."

"Still well above average."

"But not in the gifted spectrum. My parents always treated her differently for it."

"What about you?"

"I tried not to, in honesty at that age a lot of what I had to say went over my parent's head never mind Lisa's. I didn't really bother Lisa to be honest. My OCD was so severe at that point I was homeschooled. Lisa saw me as a bit of a freak and I had zero social skills so she had nothing to be jealous of. Truthfully I was horrifically jealous of her." Nanao admitted.

"Anyway as I got older two things started to happen. First of all my social skills got a little better and I got my OCD under some semblance of control. Second Lisa got to an age where she could notice my parent's differential treatment. When I was twelve and she was fourteen was when the trouble really started. Lisa got jealous and rightfully angry with my parents, went off the wall. Only thing she kept was her music. She was seventeen before she settled again. Realised if she wanted to tell my parents to go and jump she needed to go to college. That had the added advantage of getting away from them. Lisa is a smart girl, when you look at the bigger picture. Her grades were bad but she still got them level enough to go to college on finishing school. Studied music. Of course I was still horrifically jealous."

"How did you end up close again?"

"My parents do not agree with my choice of career." Said Nanao simply.

"They don't like that you're a pharmacologist?" Said Shunsui amazed.

"They didn't like the fact that I chose to specialise in neuro, but they lived with it. It was when I chose psychopharmacology they really lost it. They're physicists. They wanted me to be a physicist. Work with numbers, and logic. They could deal with pharmacology but they have no time for things they can't quantify."

"Like mental illnesses."

"Exactly like mental illnesses. They went off the deep end over it Christmas dinner three years ago. Lisa was there and heard exactly what my parents think of me and my chosen career among which went the fact that I was only like I am because I'm brain damaged in some way and that I gave up my social skills for a showy brain."

"Jealously."

"More on my mother's part than my father's but he has no time for mental illness either. Lisa jumped to my defence and we've been close again ever since."

"How did it affect your relationship with your parents?"

"Irreparably." Said Nanao simply. "I always knew my OCD unnerved them, particularly my mother but I had no idea they thought me brain damaged. Ending up here was icing on the cake for my mother. As you can see the idea took, hence the wind and the willows."

"Lisa doesn't visit you all that often does she?"

"She's uncomfortable up here. The fact that I wouldn't speak hurt her too so she avoided it."

OoOoOoOoOoOo

"Miss Ise?"

The woman turned and smiled.

"Yes?"

"My name is Kyoraku-Shunsui. I'm currently in charge of your sister's case."

"You seem to change every time I'm up here." She said amused. "Though you've done something right, I'll give you that."

"Your sister was a rather difficult patient. Could I borrow your eyes for a minute?"

"Sure." She said, entering the office. "What can I help you with?"

"This is your sister's visitor's log. I was wondering if you could tell me if there's anyone on it that shouldn't be, alternatively anyone missing that should be there."

"I'll give it a go."

Her eyes scanned down the list.

"I know of everyone there at least vaguely."

"Anyone missing?"

She frowned, scanning the list again.

"Yes." She said looking up. "David Scanolan. He's a professor in the university, Nanao's thesis supervisor. He's lectured her since she was sixteen I'm surprised he's not here. Man always gave me the creeps in all honesty but they're close. She was delighted when he got placed as her supervisor."

_Obviously Dav-. Obviously it was never followed up._

Her voice rang in his head.

So Dav- was David. That was interesting.

"Thanks for your help." Shunsui offered the woman. "Miss Ise did Nanao tell you her current diagnosis?"

"No, it's changed?"

"Her OCD is a little worse than was originally diagnosed but her only other symptom is self harm."

"Is she head banging again?"

"Nanao head banged?"

"As a child when she touched her hair too much."

"No she isn't physically self harming. It's mental."

"I don't understand."

"Being here is self punishment. She doesn't need to be. She never did. Once we get our heads around whatever it is she's punishing herself for and deal with the fallout she's a clean slate."

"But she's depressed, and suicidal."

"She's admitted to being depressed her second attempt but she isn't depressed now, and she's off suicide watch. Miss Ise to be totally honest your sister isn't even on any medication."

"She's really okay?"

"She's perfectly fine. You needn't worry about getting a phone call I can put your mind at ease there."

"I don't understand. You said she admitted to depression the second time... But why would someone commit suicide if they weren't depressed?"

"It's surprisingly common actually. The attempt was the result of a stressor."

"Relationship gone bad?"

"Perhaps. Though single event is far more likely. There is no build up to these suicides. Nanao doesn't even have suicidal thoughts, she never has. You think she was involved with her supervisor?"

"It'd explain why he isn't on the list."

"True." Shunsui mused. "Thank you for your time."

OoOoOoOoOoOo

"You're a horrible poker face."

"Why?"

"Because your body language is screaming you're asking harder questions today."

"Not harder.. just. Different."

"You want to go through my sex life don't you?"

"Among other things."

"Lets hear it then."

"I take it you aren't a virgin?"

Nanao snorted.

"No. I was seventeen, and yes, he was a damn sight older when you're seventeen. That covers when, a basic who and the fact that I'm straight."

"When you say older how much older?"

"He was twenty two."

"A good experience?"

"No, actually. It put me off sex for a long while. I was almost twenty one before I tried it again."

"Better?"

"Yes."

"How long did that relationship last?"

"It wasn't a relationship. One night stand. Lets be realistic what man in his right mind wants to be with a woman with a problem with sex."

"You were testing the waters. Was he older that time?"

"No. Same age."

"What's the longest relationship you've been involved in?"

"Six months, when I was seventeen. Post twenty, three months last year."

"Older or your age?"

"A year younger actually."

"How'd that come about?"

"Summer research."

"You had a lot more life experience than him at that point considering how early you started college."

"Except he has an IQ of 163 and also started at my age."

"Ah." Said Shunsui understanding. "How did that come to an end?"

"I won the research award." Said Nanao wryly.

Shunsui chuckled.

"I'm sure that did his ego wonders. What were you researching at the time?"

"Addiction, actually. It was extremely interesting."

"You had already started your doctorate at that point, did you regret you choice?"

"Oh gods no." Said Nanao. "I was assisting a lecturer from another college. It was how I had never met Dannu before."

"Different college." Said Shunsui understanding. "Did you enjoy the change of scenery? You've been in your university from undergrad to doctorate."

"I did. I'm kind of sorry I didn't travel for my doctorate now."

It was offhand, but there was something serious in her eyes, she blinked. She was remembering something. Something she didn't like the idea of.

He knew better than to push it right then. She'd run if he tried and he hadn't enough information.

A little visit to the university was in order.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

"Professor Scanolan?"

"Ah. You must be doctor Kyoraku do come in." Said the man.

He was immediately in agreement with Lisa. There was something about this man that set his teeth on edge.

"I must say I was surprised to get your call. How is Nanao?"

"She's doing well." Said Shunsui easily. "I'm currently just getting a feeling for her relationships with others. You've known Nanao a very long time haven't you?"

"Yes. Yes I have." His eyes flashed with memory and his face softened. Shunsui noted it mentally. That was affection. "Nanao has been mine since her undergrad."

"Incredibly bright girl. I was delighted when she chose to continue in neuropharmacology, she thought seriously about onco but in the end she came with me. She was given to me for her doctorate. Stunning work such a shame she missed the deadline, but she'll be back to finish it I'm sure."

Possessive possessive possessive. Shunsui didn't like it. At all.

"You found Nanao, her first attempt, didn't you?"

"Yes. It was... terrifying."

Real horror. That was something at least.

"It was about seven o clock in the evening. I had been in my office correcting papers. I was packing up to leave. I always check the labs before I leave. Nanao likes to work late. She actually kept her own key, had a habit of working in the middle of the night. I didn't like to lock her in, you know? Anyway I found her slumped against her workbench. I called 911 immediately."

"What do you know about the second attempt?"

"Obviously after the first attempt things had to change. She is a pharmacologist... made things easy. I took her key off her, naturally, and all her work was carefully monitored. New regulations regarding leaving work on the bench. If she wanted to work at night I had to be here."

"Did you at any time hear her argue with anyone around her attempts, there was all of what? Two weeks between them?"

"She was very irritable at the time, but then, Nanao was always rather irritable. People's brains just don't work fast enough for her liking."

"Yours included."

"Mine included." Anger flashed momentarily across his features.

"Anyway she was irritable, jumpy too... She was extremely angry with me."

"Why's that?"

"Dr. Kyoraku Nanao did all her best work in the middle of the night. I took her key and she couldn't be in here without supervision. She hates people hovering."

Stress on the word hovering.

"That's helpful, thank you. Dr Scanolan do you know if Nanao was seeing anyone around the time of the attempts?"

"Yes. I got the impression they'd broken up though."

There was that flash of anger again.

"Thank you for your help Doctor."

OoOoOoOoOoOo

Bastard. Bastard. Bastard. Shunsui smacked the bag for each time he thought the word. He pummelled into the bag relentlessly, throwing all his strength behind it. His knuckles split but he ignored it.

"Fucker!" He cursed as he slammed the thirty seventh fist into the bag, spinning as he buried his hands in his hair, throwing his head back.

"Uhhh." He sighed as he spun lightly.

"Shun. You okay old friend?"

"Me. I'm fine."

"Heard you took a field trip to the university."

"Yep."

"Find out anything?"

"Yep."

"Alright Shun lets hear it."

"The night Rosie had her episode Nanao was talking about her work to get thoralix pulled from the market. Said it obviously wasn't followed up when she was committed, almost gave me a name. Dav. I tagged it to follow up. When her sister was here I asked her to take a look at the visitor log, see if there was anyone there that shouldn't be, or anyone missing. She gave me David Scanolan, her thesis advisor. Said the pair were close, he'd known her since her undergrad and she was surprised he wasn't there."

"Relationship gone bad. That could be the stressor."

"That's what I thought. I was pretty sure there was a relationship. Nanao had mentioned she regretted not doing her doctorate elsewhere now. So I went to see him. Bastard." He punched the bag hard.

"What happened?"

"Mine. Given to me, come back to me, close to me. Possessive possessive possessive."

"Relationship gone really wrong."

"Mix it with anger and what do you get?"

"There wasn't a relationship at all." Jyuushiro breathed. "You think he's responsible for the cuts?"

"Yes. I also think he raped her."

"Shunsui... She shows no signs of a rape victim."

"Jesus Jyuu I thought we were over this she is not a normal patient, and she does. It makes perfect sense. I decided Nanao was here to punish herself. What better reason could she have."

"Self blame is common in rape victims." Jyuushiro agreed. "But she shows no fear around men."

"Jyuushiro she's known him since she was a teenager. I did some digging, he's a friend of her parents, would have been around. In general rape involving close male figures."

"Doesn't always set off the anti man response." Said Jyuushiro understanding. "But Shunsui she's a smart girl she knows better than to stay quiet. Her personality profile says she'd cry rape."

"One word and he admits relationship. That's her thesis, gone before she can argue her point. Who's going to take the word of a beautiful, confident, doctoral student over the head of the school? She wouldn't sacrifice her work."

"And punished herself for getting into that position in the first place."

"Exactly."

"How are you going to do this Shun?"

"The hard way. We both know she won't open her mouth unless forced. It was the same with getting her to communicate silently and the same with making her speak."

"Shun she could react badly."

"And never want to see my face again." Shunsui finished. "I know. I'm fond of her Jyuu, fonder than I should be, but it's my job to get her through this and I'm going to do this."

"That's all I wanted to hear."

OoOoOoOoOoOo

"Hey Nanao." Shunsui greeted as she entered the room.

"Hey." She said lightly.

She looked thoughtful before she approached the desk, leaning her hands on it so she was at eye level. She looked him straight in the eyes for a few seconds. He'd never felt as naked in his life as he did right then. It was like she looked right through him... At that moment he didn't doubt for a second that if Nanao Ise wanted to know all his secrets she could have.

Her lips touched his and his mind went blank as his hands came to her hair, cupping the back of her neck and pulling her in deeper despite the screaming protest of his logical mind, responding to the kiss. By gods it felt so good... He never wanted to let her go, wouldn't have, but for her breaking the kiss. She looked at him with so much pain in her eyes, before pulling back and brushing away the tear on her cheek. She took a shuddering breath.

"I'm sorry. I just needed to do that. Just once, before you gave me reason to hate you."

She sank back in her seat, bringing a hand to rest against her mouth as she watched him with watery eyes.

He scrubbed his hands up and down his face to try and get his mind working again, to try and process what had just happened.

"You think I'm going to hate you after this, I can see it in your eyes, so just get it over with. What are we talking about today?"

Shunsui gritted his teeth before picking up the page in front of him and turning it face up.

"I'd like to talk about Dr. Scanolan."

Once glance at the photo and her face went blank. She shut down on him instantly.

"I do not want to talk about this." She snarled. "I don't have to listen to you!" She was on her feet in a second.

"Don't you dare." He growled as she reached for the knob. "Don't you dare scamper on me like a little girl Nanao Ise!" He barked, already hating himself for the words.

She froze by the door, hand on the knob. He'd thrown the words run, and little girl and her. Her most loathed weaknesses.

"Sit down Nanao." He said quietly.

She shuffled back to her seat, head hung, hands wringing each other. He was right. Damnit he wanted to be wrong" Just once! But there was no hiding from the shame in her eyes. The reaction was classic, her eyes so wild, terrified of being cornered into this conversation. It couldn't be faked and terror like that couldn't be hidden. Nanao was raped.

"Talk to me about David."

"No." She whispered.

"I went to visit him two days ago Nanao. Talk to me about what I saw."

It was a long shot, but it was how she'd dealt her whole stay... By speaking as a professional rather than a patient.

"What did I notice Nanao?"

"David Scanolan, forty seven years of age, five nine, grey hair, balding, thick framed glasses, unsettling smile. Fake."

"Good. What kind of words did he use?"

He watched her hop from her seat, pacing quickly back and forth.

"Caring." She spat. "Worried, frightened, terrifying. Possessive." She spat again. "Mine mine mine we we we, us us us," She pulled her hands through her hair removing her clip and throwing it on the couch as she paced, fingers buried in her hair.

"Good." Shunsui soothed. "Good."

He let her pace herself out, just watching.

"How did you find out?"

"You slipped on a Dav name. I did some digging. It wasn't difficult to find." Said Shunsui, leaving Lisa out of it. She needed that relationship with her sister. "You mentioned wishing you'd done your doctorate elsewhere."

She flinched.

"How did this come about Nanao?"

She sighed, throwing herself back into her chair.

"I've known David since I was seven. He went through college with mum, an ex boyfriend." She choked, disgusted. "I'd met him a handful of times before college. I liked him. He was nice to me, didn't stare at my stupid OCD or balk at my shitty social skills. Took my side when mum was picking on me. He didn't lecture me until third year. Advanced neuropharmacology. He was heavily involved in my final year project. When he was placed as my doctoral supervisor... I was delighted."

"Tell me about the day things changed. Not the day it happened. The day you first saw the difference."

"It was over a year ago." Said Nanao hollowly. "I was working on something, an assay. The lab was full of people. He came up behind me, it was a habit, he did it to everyone but it was only ever me who got the hand on the small of the back, or the head quite so close to mine. That was the first day I noticed that. I stiffened and he took the hand back, apologised..."

"But the attentions didn't go away."

"No." She whispered.

"How did you react?"

"I had no idea how to react." She murmured, pulling at a thread in the arm of the chair. "Truthfully I was kind of flattered. I had no interest that way but here was this man, who knew all my nasty little habits, who saw the awkward teenager. The man at the forefront of my field and I just had so much respect and admiration for him..."

"I didn't want that kind of relationship." She whispered. "But at the same time I couldn't risk damaging our working relationship and I didn't want to hurt him when he'd been so kind to me..."

"Nanao..."

"Grooming 101 Shunsui I know." She said quietly. "He'd been doing it since I was seven years old." Her voice cracked. "But I didn't know it until I was here." She said tearfully, looking up. "You have to believe me. Please." She whispered, tears falling down her cheeks. "Please."

"I believe you Nanao." He said steadily. "What happened next?"

"I just tried to ignore it. There'd be a few weeks where there was nothing, and just when I thought he had the message there was some sort of a brush, or a touch and it was back to square one." She sobbed. "I never did anything to suggest... I swear." She choked.

"Alright." He soothed gently. "I know you didn't Nanao it's okay." He promised.

He let her get her tears under control. How far this went today was entirely her choice. He wouldn't prompt her any further.

"Can I please just get this out?" She asked softly.

"Say as much or as little as you want sweetheart."

She shuddered at the memory playing through her mind.

"He kissed me once before... I reacted badly, I have since that first relationship when I was seventeen."

"He was forceful, when you were seventeen?" Asked Shunsui, curious.

"Not purposely, not like that. Just typical male, ignoring it when I didn't respond. Usual rubbish but at seventeen, and a very sheltered seventeen..."

"It stuck with you."

She nodded.

"Anyway I pushed him away and that was the end of it. I was horrifically embarrassed and the matter was dropped. I thought it was over with... There was a straight month where he backed off but... He started building it back up again. I noticed this time. It made me so uncomfortable." She said in a small voice. "But who do I tell? As far as I knew I was making something out of nothing. And then."

The tears started again and her eyes glazed over as she remembered.

"It was just over a week, before the first time." She dropped her head, absolute self loathing coming to her face. Shunsui immediately noticed her OCD kick in. Her right hand squeezed her left. Over and over. Hard.

"I was in the lab on my own. It was just after six. Quitting time was five and the lab cleared out. It was just me... He came up behind me like normal but."

She released a harsh sob.

"Instead of the hand on the back he put them on my hips and and-" She sobbed.

"It's alright Nanao you don't have to do this right now."

She shook her head forcefully.

"He pulled me backwards and- and-" She gasped for breath. "He was excited." She whispered, the words on her tongue making her look physically ill. "I-I hit him. It's what I'm trained to do, I didn't think. This time he got mad. Told me t-to stay still... That he'd tell the board I'd come on to him. They would have thrown my doctorate out." She whispered miserably.

She finished squeezing her left hand and turned to her right, grinding her fingers together painfully.

"So I stayed still... I never thought he would b-but I was w-wrong. He called me a little... a little slut. Said I'd been tempting him since I was seven years old." She choked. "and he... and he." She sobbed. "I struggled b-but he was just two damn heavy and the whole time all I could remember thinking was... thank god he wore a fucking condom." She snarled.

"Why was that the wrong thing to think Nanao?"

"Bastard knew I won't take drugs of any form bar two ibuprofen once a month. I thought he was doing me a favour but really all he wanted was a condom with my vaginal contribution. Who'd believe me now?" She whispered.

Shunsui realised with a startling clarity at that moment that if he was ever within ten foot of David Scanolan again he would happily and knowingly wring the bastard's neck. Fucker had set her up so she couldn't say a word. She was eerily silent now, just staring into space. He stayed quiet thanking god for the foresight to turn on the voice recorder he kept under his desk. The room wasn't rigged for video or sound but he often found it useful to listen back over sessions... That invasion of privacy meant there was at least a chance she'd never have to do this again.

"He tried again the next night." She whispered. "But I was ready that time and I fought. I'd been dissecting." Her lip quivered. "A rat... H-he grabbed the scalpel and... Oh gods it stung." She whispered, bringing her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. Her right hand methodically began pinching the back of her left.

"And I screamed... It hurt so much... I wouldn't scream for him the first time and this... g-gleam c-came to his eyes. He wanted me to scream. I'd fallen, I expected him to r-r-rape me but he just bent down and dug the scalpel into my other side, deeper... and I screamed and I screamed and I screamed but it just made it worse."

She was rocking now, her hands over her ears, fingers playing with her hair. Her eyes were shut tight. She was reliving every second.

"And it just continued... every night. The cuts got deeper each time but he never tried to f-force himself on me again and my mind said that was okay. He'd run out of skin and get bored but one night, he held me down after cutting me and just sat there and he threw everything back at me! Everything!" She sobbed.

"He made me feel like I was worthless. Told me that a brain without a life was worthless. That my parents should have given me up, that I needed to be committed. That I'd never ever be anything in his field because I didn't have what it took!" She cried. "I was just a lost little girl!" She curled up tighter, flinching at something Shunsui couldn't see.

"And then he left me." Her voice went eerily soft. "And the pills were on the table and I thought why should I bother. I was nothing!" She shouted tearfully. "So I took the damn pills. But he found me! He made himself the hero, played up my problems to the nurses so psych would get involved and suddenly I was unstable, not to be believed." She whispered. "I was everything he told me I was."

She opened her eyes to look at him again with that penetrating gaze.

"I should never have gone back to work." She said miserably. "It just started all over again except this time there were always taunts and all I could think was I needed to finish my research. I had to finish my research. I had to get that title. Had to prove him wrong wrong wrong." She tossed her head.

"The second time I tried was the second time he raped me..." She sobbed. "He reopened every wound I had on my back that night with a scalpel." She shuddered. "Reliving putting every single one of them there."

She fell silent.

"I lied." She whispered, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I saw my back that night in the press doors and I hated me." She whispered harshly. "I hated everything about me so I went home. I cleaned myself up... put on the stereo... and I tried again. When I woke up in the psych ward I couldn't do it again. I couldn't go back and I had nowhere to go... When my parents suggested committing myself... I couldn't see another option." She whispered, breaking down again. "I'm so sorry." She choked out between sobs.

"I'm so sorry." She choked again.

Shunsui shut off the voice recorder.

"You have nothing to be sorry about Nanao."

Her head shot up.

"How can you say that?" She whispered. "How can you say I have nothing to be sorry for? I wasted five months of everyone's time because I was scared! I abandoned research that would have seen Rosie never had that episode. I was stupid. I was weak. I was-"

"Scared." Shunsui supplied. "You were scared, and for good reason. You were put in an impossible position and you reacted in the way that was least harmful to you. That isn't something to apologise for Nanao that's human nature."

"I'm meant to be better than that." She muttered.

"You can be as smart as you like Nanao. When we're in danger we run. It's how we survive, trust me when I say you are not better than that."

"You can't possibly know that." She snapped.

"Except I can."

"Right." She scoffed.

"I can because I'm smarter than you are and I ran. Your point is void. Say it."

"My point is void." She whispered.

"Nanao you have post traumatic stress disorder, you already know this but that is not your fault, we're going to treat it, we're going to fix it and I will personally see to it that David Scanolan is locked up for a very long time to come because you are not the one who needs to be apologising here."

"I don't think I can testify." She whispered.

"You may not have to. Nanao you don't take sessions in this room, but those who do know that one of the most common tools I use is a voice recorder."

He produced the small box.

"This has everything you said up to I'm sorry. Recorded sessions have been successfully used in court of law to convict before. Numerous times."

"That can't be legal."

"It isn't, in normal hospitals, not without the patient's consent. But in long term facilities it's incredibly common as most patients don't have their own power of attorney. You say the word and this can be entered into evidence as an official statement."

He sighed.

"Look Nanao. You aren't a normal patient and I am going to be completely straight with you, okay?"

She nodded.

"I am almost one hundred percent positive that the first time Scanolan hears this he's going to fly off the handle. His anger issues are evident. He's going to plead insanity."

"He is not insane." Nanao growled.

"You know it, I know it, the prosecution is going to know it and the defence are going to know it. If every rapist with anger problems pled insanity and was ruled insane there wouldn't be one behind bars. The studies are there. They're all angry, sadistic, controlling and superior and that does not constitute insane regardless of how good a show he puts on. This goes through. I'm witness for the prosecution and you know I won't let that happen. May I call it in?"

"I want to do it." Said Nanao firmly.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

"Shun? Where are you going?"

"Tokyo south precinct. They're bringing in Scanolan."

"She gave it up?"

"Everything. Start to finish. She released the tape I'm putting it into evidence."

"I can't believe this. She gave you everything. In one sitting?"

"She didn't want to do it twice." Said Shunsui. "I keep telling you Jyuu..."

"She's far from normal. That she is..." The Doctor murmured.

"Look Jyuu. I'm not going to pretend it hasn't done damage doing it that way. But that's the way she needed to do it and that's fine with me. Her PTSD is full blown now. She's going to have nightmares, her OCD turned self harming but she's okay."

"Are you going to hold her for the trial?"

"She won't need to testify." He shook his head. "Two minutes of this and he goes off the wall."

"Insanity plea?"

"Not one I'm going to let work."

"I'm coming with you. I need to know how someone like this ended up in our care. Shunsui the case study you can write..."

"You write it." Said Shunsui simply. "You'll know the whole story after this."

"Are you sure. Shunsui this could make your career."

"I don't want it." He shook his head. "I'm sure."

OoOoOoOoOoOo

"Rat bastard." Said the detective when the cassette ended. "That's conducive. No way she's lying?"

"I wasn't in the room detective and I can tell you right this second that that's the reaction of a woman who has been raped." Jyuushiro spoke up. "Shame, loathing divided between aggressor and self, tears, calm, fear, anger it's all victim-ology. Any shrink in the world, even one who can't speak Japanese will tell you that's a woman telling you the truth about a rape."

"Strongest victim I've ever had the privilege of listening to." Said one of the detectives. "And I've listened to my fair share of these. Guy's a piece of work. We brought him in. Any tips doc?"

"Play him the tape. You'll have a confession in the form of anger in seconds. When he pleads insanity, fight it, he's going to put on a good show but he's far from insane." Said Shunsui.

"Also. The condom the victim mentioned. Find it."

"You think he really kept it?"

"It wasn't an empty threat. It truly could have been used against her. It'll be in his home." Said Jyuushiro.

"Thanks docs."

OoOoOoOoOoOo

"Knock knock." Said Shunsui gently as he stuck his head around the door.

Nanao glanced up but returned his attention to the floor. She was brushing her fingers over and back lightly, lying on her stomach on her bed.

"It's awful early for you to be up."

She shrugged absently, still brushing her fingers.

"You didn't sleep did you?"

"Nope." She said simply.

"A chat then a sedative? You need a few hours."

She named the sedative.

"That's the weaker of the three."

"My point exactly. I don't want to be dead to the world. You did hear the bit about how little medication I take?" She said dully.

"I heard. What's wrong with the other one?"

"Side effect of nightmares in forty percent of cases. It's why they don't recommend it for schizophrenic patients. I'd rather not take my chances thanks." She muttered without looking up.

Shunsui sighed, easing himself down to sit on the edge of her bed.

"They brought him in. He lost his temper thirty seven seconds in to the tape. His lawyer pleaded insanity, he's putting on a good show but they have him. Detective rang to say they found his little keepsake. Perfectly preserved being the good little scientist he is. They've confiscated every scalpel in the lab to run bloodtests."

"They'll be completely cross contaminated." She said dully.

"I know. But they can link it to your original medical records. The doctor identified scalpel wounds, they can match size and shape."

"I guess."

"He's going down for this Nanao, and with his callousness the jury will put him away for a long time."

She nodded and he smiled sadly. She looked absolutely miserable.

"Here's the deal sweetheart. You stay as long as is absolutely necessary then I'm releasing you into the care of another shrink back in your own town. You need to deal with this, long term, but not with me."

She nodded into her pillow.

"I'm going to go and get your sedative."

She nodded again.

"Here." He said, returning a minute later and offering her the pill and a glass of water. She rolled over, sitting up to take them. She tossed the pill into her mouth, swallowing it back with a gulp of water.

He smiled fondly, lightly running his fingers through her fringe absently. She allowed it, just watching him. The hand slipped from her hair to run lightly down her cheek with a sad smile.

Her breath hitched as he caught her lips and his heart ached as she returned the heartbreakingly gentle kiss. Gods this could have been beautiful...

He broke the kiss gently, maintaining the hand softly cupping her cheek as she released a slow breath before opening her eyes. Gods she was beautiful...

"This is a bad idea." He said simply.

"Then why on earth did you do that?"

"Because I need you to understand that this has nothing to do with what happened to you." He murmured, brushing her cheek gently.

"If you don't accept that it will just become another issue. I am not saying no because you were raped, Nanao." He murmured, brushing away the tear that fell. "I'm saying no because you need to walk away from all this. There are too many issues and they are not just yours. Understand?"

She nodded, biting her lips and he carefully brought his other hand up to wipe away the tears from both cheeks.

"I know you understand this and I know it hurts, damnit Nanao I know, but this is what needs to happen."

"I know." She whispered softly. "Thank you."

He smiled.

"No more tears now Nanao. I'm here while you need me."

She smiled wetly as he carefully took the glass out of her hand and eased her down into her covers.

He brushed her hair lightly as he waited for the sedative to take full effect.

"Sleep well Nanao sweetheart."

He met Jyuushiro as he left the room.

"She took a sedative for me. She needs to sleep."

Jyuushiro nodded.

"You okay Shun?"

Shunsui turned back to face his best friend.

"Yeah. I walked away Jyuu."

Ukitake nodded acceptingly.

"You did the right thing."

"I know." Said Shunsui quietly.

"When will you leave?"

"Whenever the trial is over."

"Also, the right decision Shun."

Shunsui smiled at his old friend.

"I know."

OoOoOoOoOoOo

_Epilogue:_

"You leave today." Said Shunsui, sitting down in the grass beside her. She smiled genuinely.

"I leave today." She agreed. "Way I hear it you do too."

"Yep, well, I leave town tomorrow. What's the plan?"

"I'll go back to Tokyo for a while, do some research... see about getting my doctoral work transferred."

"You aren't going to stay in the city?"

"Nah, too many bad memories." Said Nanao, watching the patients on the far side of the grounds.

"So you'll finish your doctorate. Then what?"

"Whatever I feel like I guess." She said with a smile. "I don't feel like planning that far ahead."

"Good for you." Said Shunsui happily.

"So what's on the cards for you?"

"I'm going to stop running." He said easily, leaning back on his hands and looking up at the sky. "I'm going to go home to Kioto... clear out my sister's house and put it up for sale at last. I'll go visit my mother in jail, and tell her I don't hate her even though a rather large part of me still does... I'll visit the graves, of my sister, and the mother and two week old newborn my mother killed drink driving. Then I'll go back to my old AA meetings and remind myself why I'm clean." He said, glancing her way.

"After that the plan gets vague... Maybe I'll go see my old shrink, maybe I'll find a new one... I'll work on finding a job I want to do. I'm not cut out for a place like this. I'm too optimistic. I like to fix. I'll start again..."

"To starting again." She raised an imaginary glass.

"To starting again."

OoOoOoOoOoOo

_**A**_**/N: You made it to the end! Congratulations! And wasn't it far happier than you thought it would be? Please please review. This fic is fairly important to me and I'd like to hear what people think. If you don't review thanks for taking the time to read anyway **

**Becca**


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